Heartbreaking week

We buried three young men this week. three. another is lying in a hospital, without his legs, with his young wife holding his injured hands. So while we are happy the architect of this insanity is gone, it was wrong. wrong that he got a huge parade, wrong that we were told that this jackass son of a bitch was the "greatest Secretary of Defense ever". Wrong that he will make millions from books, wrong that he'll be treated like some conquering hero by the idiots that will have him speak at their conventions, as a "visiting expert". But then I have to consider the source of that head up his ass quote. Deadeye Dick.. another loser. They needed to be at the funerals, they needed to be looking in the eyes of those mothers, that young wife, the brothers and sisters. I hope he chokes on all the praise, and I just have to remember, what goes around comes around. If there really is karma, he will suffer. and then I get to stand there and say something as stupid as.... we go to war with the army we have. Hate?? oh yeah.

Yippee!!! Hot Damn!

gone gone gone... yay!!! I am so happy that Rummy is gone gone gone. or at least on his way out. Maybe now the men and women in uniform will be treated with the respect they deserve, the Generals wil be treated less like whipping boys and more like the experts in war most of them are. His attitude, his arrogance and disdain for the troops was very obvious.... "we go to war with the army we have..." jackass. When he talked about mean and lean, the kid was in Baghdad or somewhere in the neighbourhood (he didn't tell me a lot). I remember talking to him, he told me "mean and lean? yeah, fine, come on over here, we'll show ya mean.."

We have had quite a day! The Dems are in charge of the House, and the Senate in Minnesota... our Governor is still the Repub, but I really disliked the jerk who ran for Democrat (I used to work for the creep)the Repub isn't a bad guy. Now if we can just kick them all in the butt to get something DONE! instead of all the stupid posturing and dumb ideas.

Hope your candidate won!

LAW

MINE!

No, I'm not channeling a two year old. After seeing a tempest in a teapot at another blog, I have decided to make this announcement very very clear. This is MY blog. This is where I get to say whatever I want to say. I try very hard not to offend too many people. but that is strictly my call, the good manners that my mother worked very hard to teach me, and what Linda Ellerbee just called civil discourse. But if you are offended by what I say, don't read it. Or feel free to argue with me! be polite, if you know how to be, be respectful and fair.

There are some who find that what I say is somehow traitorous and that I am hurting the morale of the troops. Those troops that I know have read it, don't find that at all, and since they are the only ones whose opinion on my "traitorous" ideas I give two hoots about, that's the end of that topic.

To those who decided that somehow talking about supporting and being a different type of person, namely an Army wife, is somehow "picking a fight" because I didn't agree with your point of view (civilian) ..... get a life, get a grip. and while we are on the subject of being said Army Wife, to have your anger at ridiculous statements like "why do you LET him do whatever the Army says" or even the truly moronic "don't let him kill anyone" be compared to someone's annoyance at the silly statements about having an overdue baby..... may I say that comparison is truly the most moronic, head up your ass, fatuous statement I have heard in a long time. There, THAT'S picking a fight. go for it. but be careful. This is MY space, my place and I'll decide if you get to talk here.

Dear readers; I am not writing for you or for anyone but myself. I won't deny I get chuffed when someone reads what I write and says they like it. I even get a charge when someone says they DON'T like it.. after all, they at least read it. If I end up writing for just myself... fine and dandy. At least I'm writing, I'm not screaming.

There... said it. May I say (yes, I may) that is a big relief.

talk to you later.

I will, I mean it!

the very next person that says "oh you are on the downhill slope of the deployment" and "you must be so happy this is almost over".... I will pull their lungs out through their nose... honest... with a SPOOOOON!

no, it's NOT almost over, we have another 5 months. and who the hell decided that the first 6 months were worse than the last? Who, tell me. And I'll beat that one with a 2x4. Maybe it's just that we are so tired of it all, we are so tired of the waiting to see the next name on the list, we are so sick of the being alone, the running for the phone just in case, the hoping for an email, the being scared when you look at the paper, taking care of everything...

To be honest, I don't think they think at all! the "they"... those meaning-to-be-nice civilians. NO, I'm not a civilian. I'm an Army Wife. That's a totally different animal. I speak a different language from those "normal" people. I have friends who aren't military, they are dear to me, but they still don't understand. I know they try to, I know they feel bad for me, and are worried about me. But to be honest, the only ones who understand are my military friends, the new ones that I have made on SpouseBuzz and other places, the dear ones that are here in town who put up with my crabbiness and occasionally insane ideas.

Yeah, I'm cranky today... so sue me.

OK, now I'm pissed off!

I have been visiting and blogging on various Military Spouse sites. And they are full of (mostly) wives who are crying out for help. Their FRG is crap, the other women are cold and nasty, or the group is so tight that they won't let anyone in. It makes me so angry! There are so many of US out here, so many of us that don't fit in the mold of the perfect little army wife, so many who want to DO something for our "sisters" the other ones who are alone in a strange place, with no one to talk to or lean on.

It's not right. How many are out there who are in our unit? and I can't get hold of them, I can't let them know that the shitty FRG that is out there is NOT the only place to go, to call, to have someone listen. We can't get their email addresses or phone numbers (only with their permission... data privacy etc.) There are some great FRGs, really, I am going to a meeting of one in November, but some family members are so again ANY FRG, or group associated with the army, they sit out there with no support, no help.

It just pisses me off!

It's been a while

Ok. So, it's been a while... sorry, been incredibly busy. Work has been busy, intense, and almost too much. I've been getting the house ready to list, and for the Dome Tour, which is a tour that our architect puts on. I thought it would be a good first open house, and jeeeez, it was a LOT of work. This place is sooooo clean. There are a lot of things stashed away in strange places. But there weren't too many people on the Tour, and I don't think we even got a nibble of an interested buyer.

Our Webcams work! terrible quality picture and freezes up often, but it's great to see his face. I've been on a few military wives blogs, and some of their husbands don't get near a computer or a phone that often. So we have to consider ourselves very lucky!! Some of these women are in sucah a lousy position. they are alone, in a strange place, with their husband's deployed, nasty FRG and others... So the blogs and websites are a great venting point. And most of them don't seem to mind my liberal leanings (ha ha)

Because of the tour, the dog is at the kennel (or as we call it, the spa) the cat is enjoying the freedom to go anywhere. And it's nice and quiet. As husband said this morning -- she's just a LOT of dog. I'm enjoying the quiet too. So, if anyone out there knows anyone looking for a come house w/ten acres up in Central MN, let me know!

Everyone take care. hug your family.

LAW

His brother sang goodbye.

Today we buried another young man. A young man who had studied to be a police officer, a young man who helped his high school football team to a championship, a TaeKwonDo black belt. They called him a rock, they called him a wonderful brother and devoted son, a good soldier and a great friend.

His mother, when the bishop told the congregation to give the kiss of peace, went down the front row, not of her family, but of the dignitaries. She gave a kiss of peace and love to the Governor, senators, generals, colonels, the men who sent her oldest son to war. His younger brother sang Amazing Grace, his voice roughened with tears, and there wasn't a dry eye in the high school auditorium.

The Patriot Guard was the honor guard, and it was stunning.

But after all that pomp, the tears and the brave words, the medals and the music, there's a hole in the world, a huge hole in his family. A wonderful blend of Hispanic and Swedish, aunts, uncles, cousins galore, but so wounded and sad and lonely.

Take a minute and think of him and of them. And of his friends in the Sand, who had a memorial service there, so far away from that lovely town in the Red River Valley near Sauk Centre. There's a hole there too. They don't want to remember how he died, I don't know that I want to either. But we need to, need to remember that a young man did his duty. We don't need to think, for now, of how or why this all started, we just need to remember him, and the others who die every day, their families, their friends. Goodbye Josh.

LAW

Farewell to a champion

Watching Andre Agassi the last two sets, was agony. He's limping, in so much pain, and still trying! and coming up with some amazing flashes of brilliance, the "old" Andre. We loved watching him, but today I kept wanting him to stop, to go lie down, to be out of pain. So while I will miss watching him this week, I'm glad he won't be in that level of pain. It will take months for his back to stop giving him the walk of an 86 year old. And of course I cried! He did, and I don't think there was anyone with dry eyes in the stadium or watching on TV.

But as a raging fan, I want to thank him for the afternoons and evenings spent glued to the TV (it was a good way to get the ironing done...) the heartstopping near misses, the incredible points that drove me cheering to my feet in my living room and calling my mother (another tennis fan), and for the grace and true class he showed at all times. To him, and his family, all the best, thanks for sharing him with us, we appreciated it, now it's your turn.

LAW

open arms, my ass!

For those of you who are involved in or know the military, you know how the Services push that group known as the FRG, Family Readiness Group. They are supposed to be there for the families, to provide them the support they need whilst their soldiers are deployed. The group is supposed to be welcoming, not judgmental and rank is SUPPOSED to be left at the door. After all, we are family members/wives/parents/husbands, and we don't have rank. But as with all things that touch the military, supposed to isn't what is really happening.

I pissed off the head of the FRG I used to be with, by pointing out that some of us DO like information and she isn't diseminating the information that is being sent out (I get it from another group, so know what our group is missing). This woman has come right out and told us that she doesnt like to get online, doesn't like to watch the news (other than FOX!!) and doesn't really want to know much about what is going on in the world or in Iraq. I also pointed out (and folks, I WAS nice about it, I have been assured of that by more than one person who is NOT related to me that read the letter) that putting our group together with another group, whose troops are returning in the fall, while ours don't get back until spring was really hurtful to us. Listening to all the joyful planning for homecoming isn't much fun, when you have over 6 months to wait! I offered, again, to write the newsletter, since we hadn't seen one in over 2 months.

She got terribly upset with me, accused me of picking on her. I figured, ok, she'd get over it. But then she involved her husband, who is with mine in Iraq. He is a senior NCO! I'm lucky, my husband out ranks him. The senior NCO jumped on my husband, and told him flat out that we aren't in that particular company officially and basically indicated that I should leave. Now these men have served together for years. So thanks to a woman who has no self worth but has to run and hide behind her husband, who cannot take ANY criticism at all even when put into a letter offering help because she is obviously overworked, a long friendship is impacted. and I realized what I have always really known. I don't fit in these groups, and should just forget it.

So a few of us are going to make our own group. We are going to do what we wanted to do in the official group, do things that support our families and our soldiers. and folks.... don't believe in the Open Arms, Big Umbrella crap... you have to think "correctly", and remember, don't ever piss off the Top Kick's wife!

Still learning....

I just got onto a new military family website, and posted a query about FRGs... it's very depressing to see that there are a lot of people who are in the same boat with their FRG. But it's nice to have support out there.

LAW

good things, little things

One of the units in my husbands Brigade Combat Team has been helping a school in their district in Iraq, the unit they replaced had started rebuilding it, and when the new unit came in, they "picked up the ball". Now the building was done. but it was empty. Nothing in it for the kids. So they put out a list.

I put the word out at the law firm I work at. and it was amazing. I got coloured pencils, pencils, paper, soccer balls (a special request!) erasers, and cash! I have been shopping and you wouldn't believe how much you can get for these kids. they want shoes too. I'm guessing flip flops!

So folks, I know, its a little thing, and while I scream and yell and rant and rave about the big things, the killings, the bombings, the corruption and what seems like the sheer hopelessness of it all.. this happens. OK, so it's small. but for a few minutes, some kids are going to be happy. a soccer ball will be kicked around, coloured pencils will be used and a picture wil be drawn and a mom will smile at what her child drew. She may not have a refrigerator to stick it on, but I'll bet it gets smiled over and put up somewhere! maybe its just a few minutes of happiness. but I'll take it. a few minutes here, a few minutes there. it may not change the big picture, but there are lots of little pictures that can be changed, and be made better.

~LAW~

It's the little stuff....

Like..... the new weedwhacker... I needed someone with strong hands to twist that knob thingie so I could advance the string.... and damn. NO one around cause it's 4th of July. or holding the ladder so I can just reach the burned out bulb up there in the dressing room closet track... do you know how damned annoying it is to have to wait and call a neighbour the next day to see if he can come over to help? The big stuff you hire someone for, and you don't feel like an idiot having someone come over to frame a wall, or dig a big ass hole for the egress window... but the little stuff... you become that pain in the butt neighbour.

and as for the weedwhacker. It has to go back, it's defective! ha ha! even with a pair of pliers, the strong carpenter neighbour couldn't get it to move. So now I don't have to feel like a total weakling.

Decided you all needed another picture of the granddaughter.. yeah so sue me.
Isn't she adorable? and if you think you are going to answer anything other than yes... you are crazy.

There are days when just spending a few hours hanging out with her would be my entire ambition for the week. I could sit and stare at her, play with those toes and blow kisses on that cute little tummy until her mommy and daddy made me give her back ( or until she did one of those diapers)

But, instead of that, I get to go back to work tomorrow, which is very quiet since a lot of people decided to take the rest of the week off. Damn.

so take care. Talk to you later.

Never..... lasted a week

This young man was 19. He wasn’t a football hero, or a super student. Just a regular kid, from what we read. But his sister’s kids loved their candy man uncle, who slipped them candy when mom wasn’t looking. He died yesterday in the heat of Iraq, far away from the green of Willmar MN. He wasn’t alone, his friends were there. As I said, the National Guard goes in convoy with their relatives, their friends, their co-workers.

So when you watch the parade go down the street, when you oooh at the “rocket’s red glare” and wipe the Barbeque sauce off your chin, think about Kyle Miller for a second, take a minute to thank his mom and dad. Those of us who go to his funeral in the next couple of weeks will do so, and I’ll be proud to take them for you.

LAW

Never again, I hope

I went to a funeral today. He was 22. His friends said he was a nice guy, liked to spend time with his buddies, liked chasing girls, loved fishing (they tell a fishing story about a record catfish, but have pictures to prove it!) had a super smile and wonderful eyes, and he was only 22. Two thousand people came to say goodbye, 250 in leathers on bikes with flags, the Governor, the General and a Representative. His brother, his father and mother, his stunned grandparents and a host of aunts, uncles and cousins, his best buddy "walking wounded". and he was only 22.

Sgt Brent Koch. 22 years old, killed by an IED in Iraq. It broke my heart to see his friend, who was hurt in the same bombing, hobbling in uniform to his seat in the gym where the two of them used to play basketball. When National Guard soldiers go to war, they go with their friends, their brothers and sisters, their fathers and mothers, aunts, uncles and cousins.

As political as I am, there wasn't any room for that there. Maybe before, reading BIO, or after listening to the radio. But then, no. There was only time to grieve, to say hello to a Col I know, and thank you to the Patriot Riders.

Like we all said to each other, I hope we don't see each other at another one ever again.

talk to you later.

Frustration!

today has been one frustration after another. husband and I usually IM every evening... not for the past 4 days! he pays a ridiculous amount to his ISP in the Sand... and the damned thing doesn't damned well WORK!!!

And the guy I had doing some work in the basement has managed to misplace ALL the trays for the dehydrator! I have 35 bucks worth of strawberries that I want to make leathers out of... and no trays!!! and the guy won't answer the phone... avoiding the bill collectors I assume. so I'll have to do this the old way, cookie sheets in a cool oven... long slow process.. and try to get some new trays. This guy has been a disaster from day one. didn't do a really good job, broke my lawn mower mowing the city right of way, now this.... and he'll whine at me... about God going to provide.... while he tries to over charge me for work. well, not in this house. not again.

And the sinus infection is giving me a huge headache, which is going to morf into a migraine any minute now. Went to the neurologist today, got Topamax (supposedly a good migraine preventative). then I started reading about side effects... a bit scary there folks, but I have to also remember that these are a few people, who had a bad result, and there are thousands who had a good one.... working in the plaintiff medical litigation field really really doesn't help!

work is piling up at work, and I need to take some time off and get this house ready to put on the market! but when I get home... I'm dead tired, and not much gets done. the house is a mess, a bunch of unfinished projects.

and overlying it all... I'm alone out here, and I'm tired of it all. ever have a day when all you want to do is walk away? from all of it? knowing there is a funeral for a 22 year old kid looming is the "icing" on the cake

sorry.. feeling down, tired, and sick. probably shouldn't post this, but hell. the dog doesn't respond and the cat is in a crappy mood.

take care y'all. talk to you later.

~LAW~

Sad Day

It's a sad day. One of the MN Guard members was killed in Iraq. Not anyone I knew. or from our unit, but he's still "one of ours".

What a sad waste of a 22 year old young man. and I had the awful feeling when I saw the headline... oh god, don't let it be my husband.... and when it wasn't, that feeling of relief made me feel so very guilty.

What a Father's Day for his family. Think about them, if you are a believer in something, pray for them.

~LAW~

My sweet baby granddaughter

Isn't this the most beautiful child ever in the entire universe? And she's in a dress her Nana wore a long time ago. A very very very long time ago.

Wonderful visit. I got to baby sit, nibble on tiny toes, and watch her blow bubbles. I think she enjoys it most, when she has a little bit of formula in her mouth... makes such a fun sound! She smiles with her whole body! a big gummy grin, those blue eyes sparkle, and she wriggles with glee. (yeah, besotted grandmother....)

son and dil are househunting. And isn't that just so much fun? everyone who's done it, sit back a second... remember? yuk. Took son and darling child around a nice townhouse development. got into one open house.... pretty nice one.

The weather was HOT! So our trip to a botanical garden didn't happen. Who wants to fry? So she and I went for a very early morning but nice walk along a green strip where they live and came across a field full of prairie dogs! Seems all the construction along a military base nearby had chased them out. So a couple of yards from a busy street, the little fellas were chattering and chittering away as Nana and the stroller with sleeping baby walked along. Fun! If I can get back there before winter, I hope we can see them when she is awake!

Came home with a very heavy heart... miss seeing her so damn much.

Got home, my carpenter was working away and the work he has done is gorgeous. But unfortunately, my escape artist cat got out the day before I got home. I didn't realize it, because when the carpenter is working, the cat runs into the basement, the compressor bugs him. So when the carpenter left, and the cat didn't come out... I realized he had jumped the wire. I walked around, calling, but nothing... The next day, I went through the woods and to the barn calling... and heard him yelling like a banshee. the idiot went up into the hayloft of our 100 year old barn... and couldn't get down. Very glad to see him. The dog showed her joy, by grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and hauling him around the floor.

Back to work. Not just at the office either. spent most of a morning scraping the basement floor... the flooring installer comes tomorrow. Planning a baking blitz this weekend, since I missed doing it last weekend. Besides the guys deserve a double batch. And they know why.

Y'all take care now. talk to you later.

Nana LAW.

Weekend, rest? hah!

Why is it that weekends are so busy, that we need to go back to work on Monday to rest? Well, this weekend will be one of those in spades.

I have a LONG list of stuff to get done. Since the certified, properly trained Maytag man came and fixed the oven, that includes baking! When he moved that oven out.... eeeewwwwwww. Nasty nasty nasty. Now, it's clean! And yes, it was more expensive, but no questions, he had the parts, he knew what he was doing, so I consider it worth it.

the basement needs painting. the ceiling done, the cleanup finished, so off we go to Menards for Primer, and good paint. I found, to my cost, that buying cheap paint just means you paint twice. Not totally sure of the colour, warm, earth tone, it's a huge room and can handle a slightly darker colour. I was considering a bright yellow. but that could be cold. Flooring is next, I am looking at vinyl (a wood look) and new ceiling lights!

the cupola guy came and measured, so I better get up there and clean it out, so he doesn't have to waste time doing that. Lots of books up there.

and then of course, there is the regular stuff, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cut the grass, some weeding maybe? damn, I'm already tired!

I know I should try for some profound stuff... but I have so damn much else to do.... profundities are in short supply.

So... have a good weekend, talk to you later.

~LAW~

Mother's Day

Rain, rain, mud and grey skies. Don't even feel like it's Mother's Day. It's more like Halloween, I wish I hadn't packed the long underwear!!!! the sweet potato vines got frost bit. and the basil too!

No, the stove still isn't fixed. My local yokel whined, moaned and couldn't fix it. So, now I had to register with the Amana group and hopefully a registered, certified technician will fix it Tuesday. and why is it, now that I can't bake anything, I want Lasagna, or baked ziti!?

Good news..... well, let's see... hmmm... I got a locker rented at the Y. I was on the waiting list, so now I don't have to schlep everything back and forth. and work is great, lots of stuff going on and I'm incredibly busy. A couple of nasty clients, one of whom wondered if it was my "time of the month!" sexist old fart.

Husband and I are able to email in the evenings (US time, dawn his time), except when the internet provider on his base screws up, and we can't get connected. It sure is getting hot there, 105 today when he called. The difference between there and here... 9 hours and 50 degrees, and a lot of mail/email/and heartache.

the basement is coming along wonderfully. the ceiling was done yesterday, yes it's popcorn (which to the cognoscenti is a disgrace) but it was in such awful condition before then, it is a great improvement. Now to prime and paint, and then flooring. Found some really neat stuff, vinyl you don't need to glue down. I was thinking about laminate but the cost is insane. and since there is heat in the floor... can't do carpet. The landscaper is coming tomorrow, the egress window will be done, and a few other things... and I really need to get the driveway regravelled... muddy water geysering up when you drive down it may be fun in commercials about 4 wheelers, but not much when coming down my own driveway in a Sedan!

jeez, I wish I had something nice to tell you all. but I don't. Need to get my flights together for Denver next month.

Take care, and talk to you soon. ~LAW~

May flowers

All those may flowers may just curl up and say forget it!!! It's cold here again, in the 40s and they are even talking frost. so, there you are, your weather forecast for the frozen tundra.. redux.

Sitting in front of a lovely fire in the woodstove. and wishing everything else was as good! My baking endeavours are on hold... my oven element broke (yes, again dear... I know...) so I have all the cookie dough I made for the bake sale in the fridge, waiting. The guys I bake for in the Sand will have to wait too. There's one guy... the Cookie Monster... I hear he loves them.

The carpenter is here working on the basement. as I was showing him around, stumbled on a gift from the dog. She hasn't done that in YEARS. I think that was the day after I had the 2 day migraine last weekend and was so tired I couldn't wake up to take her out.... she's not usually allowed into the basement, so I must have left the gate open. Why did someone else have to see that?????? Anyway, the carpenter is done with the closet, now working on the broom closet. We just have to figure out the ceiling problem.

I joined the Y this week! and did some laps at lunch today. Oh my gawd...the chlorine. I have such red eyes, and they hurt sooooooo bad. I think I'll wait until I get some goggles to do that again! Guess tomorrow will be the elliptical.

And at work opposing counsel is just making me nuts... but that's as far as I go with that. work stays there. But the boss still likes my work..

And my honey sent me tulips! salmon and lemon... gorgeous. And since the office is very chilly , they are lasting a loooooong time. I'll have to bring them home tomorrow. now I know the cat doesn't like roses. Wonder how he feels about tulips!

Well, folks, there was my week. A few other insanities that no one needs to hear...

talk to you later.. ~LAW~

Amazing week..

From the property behind me, comes the sweet evening sound of semi automatic weapons fire (yeah, after 45 minutes, I have called the local sheriff's office, and the officer who answered the phone did let me know that I wasn't nuts, that is IS Semi Automatic Weapons Fire, and they are sending someone out)Cute young sheriff's deputy just came up... he's interested that the SAWF is also interspersed with High Powered Rifle and shotgun fire... so now he gets to drive around on the back roads and try to find whatever yutz is out there playing games.

Let's see... it was my birthday, and a very nice one too. a lovely card from everyone at work, roses and truffles from my sweetie in the Sand, a watch from my folks, but without the booklet and it has lots of buttons and dials and stuff.. The "kids" called, but the baby was sleeping so she didn't chat. DIL left me a lovely message the next day, with the grandbaby babbling... it was so cool!

Work is going fine. It really is a great place to work!

I am trying to get our webcams to work... AOL didn't work last night. let's just hope that MSN is going to work tonight.

Watching West Wing.. damn, I'm going to miss that show.

Talk to you later. ~LAW~

John Wayne vs. pukka british stiff upper lip

The article I have linked to is from the Telegraph. It's a whole different way of looking at the war in Iraq. The Bush administration continually says that we are not in the business of Empire Building... you coulda fooled me. And we aren't fooling anyone else in the world, either... Take a look at the article and remember, the Empire Builders of Britain, in the Cecil Rhodes, Clive of India mold didn't use overwhelming force. Big business (the East India Company, Diamond miners) followed the conquerors.... Halliburton/Brown & Root, anyone?



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/04/19/wirq19.xml&sSheet=/news/2006/04/19/ixnewstop.html

Happy Birthday, Lilibet

Ok, I know. She's an anachronism. She's not a warm and cuddly type. She's oldfashioned, wears dreadful hats, and her voice could break glass. But, she is loyal, true and steadfast. Not just to her husband, her family. But to her country, the Commonwealth and her people. On her 21st Birthday, she told the world that she pledged herself and her life "whether it be long or short" to their service.

But I still have to admire her. (Yes dear, I know,... we fought a war of Independence to get away from royalty.... be nice... hush) Throughout the entire fiasco of her children's marriages falling apart, she kept that stiff upper lip. When Diana died, she may not have shown the world her grief, but she stayed with the people that mattered the most, her grandchildren. And she keeps going, with hundreds of engagements a year, listening to the same old speech, eating the rubber chicken, walking through hundreds of factories, schools, and asking questions, listening with attention to daft answers and babbling dignitaries. and she's 80 years old on Friday.

Yeah, yeah, she's a rich woman, one of the richest in the world. Well, blame her ancestors, (and credit her husband with some smart investments) Show me another 80 year old who is still working full time at her job. She takes no time off from the red boxes, is the greatest source of history for her prime ministers and others, is greatly respected by heads of state around the world, and especially with the leaders of countries in the Commonwealth. Her family may be a mess, but she has never shirked her duty. And that's the biggest jewel in her crown, her loyalty and her duty done.

Contrast that with our present leadership in the US... yeah, pathetic, isn't it?

So, to that wonderfully British anachronism, Elizabeth Alexandra Mary, Her Most Excellent Majesty, Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her Other Realms and Territories, Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MA'AM.

It's really spring... HONEST!

Finally. Here on the tundra, spring has arrived. Nests everywhere, the pheasants in the back acreage are yelling away! Most of the trees are fuzzing out with that amazing green, that soft sweet colour that makes your heart smile. The forsythia is showing off in it's own brazen style, the day lilies are poking up, the lilac buds are getting fat and happy. Mud, everywhere. I didn't realize how finicky the dog is, she really hates mud on her paws. But then the other day, she killed a gopher and rolled in it... so how is a little mud different?? The Harley's are out, pretty soon they will be flocking up to the North Shore and we'll hear that thunder along the back roads as they wander up and down. But I found the real, official, harbinger of spring a while ago. The ticks are out.. oh joy.

I saw spring in Mississippi, trees were blooming, and it was lovely. Spring here isn't nearly that far along yet, but I'm hopeful. And that's a good thing. The grey cloudy blah weather has been a reflection of my mood, so maybe this sunshine and new start will be what I need, to cheer up, to pull myself out of that funk I got into this winter. Now, if I could just lose the 10 (oh, c'mon... tell the truth...) 15 pounds I packed on.

The list of to do's ... is growing! Need to get the basement finished, get the cupola finished, new boiler, the mower needs to be fitted out for summer, landscaping, fill all those pots on the deck... and the job needs work too! They have been marvelous about my leaving for the deployment stuff, and for my parents anniversary.. but I need to buckle down and get to work! Lots of cases piling up, and I really enjoy it. The commute kicks my butt some days, over an hour one way... but that's what we get for moving out here right?

No new pictures of the most beautiful child in the known universe... but I'm hopeful of getting some soon.

Take care, talk to you later. ~LAW~

50 years together

It was my parents 50th wedding anniversary last week. Amazing! 50 years together. 50 years of love, bickering, anger, trust, and tears. I'm sure, hell, I KNOW there were times they were close to divorce, times they both wanted to say to hell with it. I'm not sure what held them together, was it love, was it stubbornness, were they too scared to split? But there they are. Still doing their imitation of the Bickersons ..... ok, you kids... go look it up. I'll wait.

They kvetch at each other, Dad mutters about "putting up with this for all these years"... Mom mutters about "needs a hearing aid... selfish.... " and its comforting! Because they have been doing this since I can remember. When I was little, it scared me. I was sure they were going to go off and divorce, and I'd be like my friends, living through that incredibly awful tearing apart of a family, watching your familiar life fall apart around you. Sometimes, when they weren't talking for days, I thought it would have been better if they had. But now, they have grown together, and one without the other is unthinkable.

So, Mom and Dad, Happy 50th. May you have many many more.

A new bumper sticker on my car

And it's one I never wanted to put on there. It describes me more than all the others, even the "Proud Liberal" , the "Army with Pride", the Texas village missing it's idiot. When you see it on a car, think about what it means. The family separated, the hours spent waiting for phone calls, for emails, for a letter full of dust and sand. The cell phone carried everywhere, email account checked and rechecked 30 times a day. The sleep that doesn't come, the lying in that big bed all alone and the long sleepless nights. Running to look at the TV screen if there's a report about where they are, taping the report and going through it as slow as possible... is he there? Is that him? "the one in the green suit and the hat...." in a sea of uniforms and helmets, in the rain.

Tell me, since when do I cry at stupid songs? For heaven's sake, I bawled my eyes out listening to the radio playing Angry American (Toby Keith's jingoistic, idiotic ode to knee jerk reactions) Since when does a stupid telemarketer asking for him make me stop short. Since when do I leave his slippers in the bathroom.. for the past two months? Since when do I sit clutching his shirt just to smell him.....

Since the day he called and told me he was deploying. Since last Friday, when I drove to the airport in Jackson, crying so hard I scared myself. Since I landed here at home, to the empty house, the empty bed, the empty life I fill up with work, and books.

The Bumper Sticker: Half my heart is in Iraq. It might as well say my life is in Iraq. and it is. So I'll keep going, going to work, baking and making for him and others deployed, taking the dog out and to the vet, combing the cat, cleaning the house. but remember,

Half my heart is in Iraq.

Can't write

It's been such a week and a bit... and I just can't write. There's too much to say, and the words are just all jammed up. The wonderful trip, the very "southern experience" we had with shades of Faulkner and Tenneseee Williams, the fun, great food, silly little things.. and the goodbye. Maybe I can write more during the week. For right now, let's just say I'm a little fragile right now.

~LAW~

Just a mish mash of stuff!

Now tell the truth... isn't that the cutest baby you ever saw? Husband says she's solemn, but then babies don't smile when they are this little (except when they have gas!)

Getting ready for my trip South. Have to get out summer clothes, here it's snowing right now, and down there, it's in the 70s. Yeah, ask me again why we moved here. I'm STILL trying to figure that out!

Made all sorts of reservations for fun B&B's . I think they'll be fun... Don't know about Husband. I thought he'd like them, but reactions so far to the websites has been tepid. Lots of "if you like it, dear" type comments. Oh well, maybe he'll come round. Looking forward to some decent food as well. Unfortunately, there are "festivities" scheduled, instead of just allowing us to be alone and have some fun by ourselves. Instead, lots of marching about, ceremonies, forced frivolity and a picnic. This type of thing is NOT for the families, or the troops. It's for the stay behinds, the politicians and the media. And can you believe, one of the wives actually posted on a website that it is a privilege and honour for us to be "allowed" to go down and see our husbands/wives/kids/brothers etc... hmmm. I'd say that wife is well indoctrinated, what about you? I'm sure she thinks that this whole thing is a righteous crusade against EEEEvl. Makes my skin crawl. Won't it be so fun to spend some "quality"time with these types. I will need to blog alot... just to vent.

Work is great. Lots of work, and spending a day and a half reviewing documents on the computer for redactin, was a real pain in the neck.... My massage therapist says I need to relax!! So I got one of those corn bags that you heat up and put over the neck. Now that the inflammation of the cartilage between my ribs is healed, some yoga would help too. But the work itself is good, and I like the people there. Not a lot of forced frivolity, but if you find a few minutes to chat with someone, that isn't frowned on. They seem to realize that we are adults, we get our jobs done on time and do it well, and don't need babysitters. Firms that do try to babysit their staff, really make me nuts. I resent being made to feel guilty if I spend a couple of minutes on the phone with a repairman. I agree, there are those who spend HOURS on the phone with friends/kids whatever. But there has to be a happy medium!

Doing a bunch of BIO blogging. I actually had someone appreciate one of my comments and copy it to something they are writing. That's a hell of compliment! Those who write a lot of posts on BIO are very good writers, some do it for a living, and they have been kind enough to tell me they like my writing too. Wow. Maybe I could do it too? There's so much to say. Between SoDak making abortion illegal in that state, POTUS making all sorts of an ass of himself and deciding that he is above the law when it comes to eavesdropping without a warrant, Deadeye Dick Deferment Cheney... and some of the commentors on BIO could drive you nuts! A 16 year old conservative (the child needs a life) who babbles about a lot of things he doesn't understand, one nasty type who, when he can't come up with a response, condemns us all to the fiery pits of hell.. etc. etc... But the discussions are great, and most of the commentators are thoughtful men and women who will make points and enjoy a good discussion.

Time to get on with more trip preparations. Talk to you later.

~LAW~

Good week!!

Yeah, it was a good week. The new job is working out really well. I get to do what I am good at, without someone watching over my shoulder every second, and micromanaging. This group understands that I do know what I'm doing, I have been doing this stuff for a lot of years now.

Getting on the bus was interesting, seeing some of my prior aquaintances and renewing conversations was fun. It was so surprising how I got right back into the groove. The morning rush of getting the dog out/fed, making my lunch and finding the lunch bag, then a fast breakfast, get dressed (damn, having to wear hose and heels again, takes a lot more time than throwing on jeans!) and get out the door around 6:50. The cat was so pissed off, he decided to hide. I thought he had zipped out the door, so ran around outside until I realized I was going to be late on my first day. When I got home, he was still not responding to me. Then JJ decided to saunter up from the basement, demanding his dinner... stupid cat, just trying to drive me nuts.

Went to lunch with folks from the former firm. It was so good to see them all again. And then today went to lunch with my friends up here... and we really should have done what we keep threatening to do. One pie, 4 forks... Forget the balanced meal crap!

The Phelps slime have crawled up here to Minnesota. These pathetic excuses for human beings dare to picket the funeral of a young soldier, calling his mother names and spouting their bigoted rubbish to those coming to remember a fine young man. The only good side to this, is the appearance of some very brave and honourable men and women in the Patriot Guard, who go to the funerals to protect the families.

Been emailing with a news anchor on a local channel. His daughter graduated with Son. We've had some decent discussions, and last night his opinion piece was on the Phelps group. He equated them with the KKK. I think he got THAT right. Then of course, our neighbour to the west (So.Dak) decided to put women's choice to a vote... not a referendum, that would mean that everyone would have a say. No, the cowards decided that they had the stacked votes in their legislature and could take a woman's choice away from her, even if she had been raped or was a victim of incest. Sanctimonious assholes! Next thing to be outlawed.... well? what do you think? Some of these idiots have decided that birth control pills are a form of abortion... so that's next. These are the same jackasses who will vote FOR a war and FOR the death penalty. The only life they seem to care about is the unborn one. The born folks... nah... they don't need affordable health care, or decent food, or affordable housing... The rich need their tax rebates, don't forget!

Sorry, got on my soap box there.... but hey, it's MY blog! So I get to say what I want!!! HA!

Talk to you later.

~LAW~

Another picture of the loveliest child in the world. She is, isn't she???

I got a real job! working at a plaintiff's firm, doing some real paralegal work, for LARGE litigation medical device mass tort stuff.. they came up with my $$. So I'm a happy camper. It's downtown, so it's back on the bus. I drive about 35 -40 minutes to the park and ride, then get on a bus for another 30 minutes or so. That's the fun part, that's my time. I get to read, crochet (cross stitching is NOT possible... too bumpy) and chat with fellow worker bees. I'll be back to walking the skyways for lunch (maybe I'll see about getting a YMCA membership) and I hope this will also help me stop eating... constantly!

And folks, IT'S COLD. MINUS 6 was our high. and that didn't count the windchill! that was about minus 20. One of my co-bloggers on BIO tells me he loves Minnesota.... hm... makes ya wonder, don't it? I can't wait to get outta here. Even the dog was not happy to be outside today. She loves to play outside, but we've cancelled BALL today. Tomorrow morning's windchills... - 50!!!! oy, gevalt.

If you have been following the saga, you'll know I disconnected the outside wood boiler and have been relying on the electric boiler to provide my heat. The electric company called today, to find out if everything was ok, was I using an electric space heater (well, in the bathroom yes...) but it seems my bill is quite a bit bigger. Well, yeah, I'm not on dual fuel, which really cut my bill by more than half, anymore, and the electric boiler is on duty full time. But I was really impressed with them calling me!

This means I have to start doing everything on weekends. grocery shopping on Sunday mornings, whilst everyone else is in church.. and then laundry and make some real dinners, so I can have left unders for during the week. My neighbour is going to be my dogsitter. Because of Lexi's medical problems, she can't wait for more than 7 hours without going outside to do what she has to do. I usually use the vet tech from my vet's office, but my neighbour could use the money, and she's nice and close. If I'm going to be late, or need to shop, I can ask her to do it again without worrying.

Another chapter starts. Wish me luck!

Talk to you later.

Where DOES one begin? Dickie (gimme another Deferment)VEEP shoots a lawyer.. and for a while it was funny. I mean, lawyer jokes, texass hunting jokes, Cheney jokes, as my husband says "too easy"! but now it's serious. The poor man had a heart attack. But for some reason, the neo cons have decided it isn't anything that should be discussed, it's not important. The Imperial Presidency continues. Tomorrow's hearings with Chertoff could be very interesting as well. I am hoping to read something about the Veteran's Affairs Committee hearings from today. The VA is so overwhelmed, underfunded, and cannot keep up with all the new cases they are getting from this insane war. Rumblings of trying to make PTSD harder to file for and trying to say it was a Pre existing condition triggered by stress or something equally ridiculous make me nervous.

As for here at home. The "kids" are doing fine, may already be looking at buying a house! Son got a raise/new job at same company, which is great after less than a year. DiL is job hunting, may be thinking about doing home day care, which makes an awful lot of economic sense, if you think about it. The price of daycare is so high for a baby, that it may not make sense for her to go back to work at her previous job and get day care for Little Princess, and getting to stay home with LP and making some $$ at the same time, would be so wonderful. They are also thinking about and looking at going into the National Guard. I am nervous...scared...but understand why they would think about it. The $$ is decent, the training that son could get to change careers would be great, and they miss the Army stuff as well.... Not all of it, of course, but there are good things about being in the service. But Mom here is of course seeing the worst. What if they are deployed? What would happen to LP? Would they be deployed at the same time as husband? That would be truly f**king awful.

Getting quotes from carpenters/contractors for my basement and cupola work. One is a neighbour, but I'm not sure who I am going to have do it.

Job hunting also continues, one possibility is a Case Assistant job I will interview for some time this week. I took a Case Assistant job at this firm a year or so ago, only because I was taking a class at the time and needed some flexibility, and therefore accepted less $$. But now I don't need that flexibility and won't take less than I want. Sorry... ain't happening.

Continuing to make reservations for the South trip. I'd like to find another fun place, got us into a Plantation style B&B on the River Road for one night, maybe we'll try a casino type place another night. Husband just says: I drive the car, and we are "going thataway". And I really really want some decent down home barbeque, for a little roadside dive. The food up here in the midwest is truly awful. They seem to be scared of taste up here. Pepper is the "spice" of choice... erk.

Sorry, don't have new pictures, kids sent two camera's but my local Target's machine is out of commission until Thursday. Think I'll run down to another one and get them done tomorrow.

That's about it for me this time.... Talk to you later.

Let it snow, let it snow... etc etc. and it is, quite nicely. It's pretty too, covers up the Snert and the yellow snow... Don't think we'll get more than a couple of inches today.

Last day at work yesterday, it was wonderful to realize I wouldn't have to put up with that level of crap anymore. Of course, the two pains in the butt were up to their usual shit. Sheer nastiness and juvenile behaviour.

Now, I know I told you before, to go to Bring It On. But this time you HAVE TO! You must read the following post.
http://www.teambio.org/2006/02/a-troop-weighs-in-on-the-debate-of-whether-political-dissention-by-the-left-hurts-the-troops-and-their-war-efforts/#comments
Written by a troop just recently (in the last 2 weeks) returned from the Big Litter Box. If you want to know how a lot of guys think, read that.

Baby news: (well, that's what you come for, so here goes) She's doing well, eating up to 4 ounces at a time and only occasionally spitting it all back up. Just got one of the disposable cameras back from Son and DIL, so I'll get that done tomorrow, and post at least one of them for you.

Having carpenters in, to give me quotes on the work I need done in the cupola and basement. One is my neighbour, one of the others is an older gentleman.. nice man, I think he'd be great. Got a couple more to talk to, I also like the dog to meet them. I trust her opinion too.

On the Job Hunting Front: I have an interview on Monday. I was hoping for two, but one of them is a no no, due to conflicts with a prior job/case. Ah well. It would have been fun. I am, however, going to hold out for a certain amount of $$. No, I won't just take anything (again) for a lesser amount of money. I also am going to be helping whichever carpenter I hire, being "GoFer" again. Did that a lot when we were building the dome originally. After all, changing that basement junk room into a nice bedroom and getting the cupola finished will add a lot to the price of the house when we are ready to sell.

Heard from an old and good friend, who is now at Bagram AB in Afghanistan. Says it's a REAL pit.

"If any are interested, we are living in plywood "hootches", and my living space within that hootch is about 10' x 10' and everything is covered in dust - constantly. Lovely place. There are derelict/destroyed armored vehicles, shot up buildings and large areas of the base are still off-limits due to land mines. And just think, this base is considered to be the place to be."
Sounds awful... so I am off to bake oatmeal raisin/craisin cookies for him. Husband is out of phone contact, so I have no news from him to impart.

Take care of youse. Talk to you later.

I did it. I gave my notice today. It was simply the wrong job. and for so little money, I couldn't handle the stress level. This weekend, I could have made a great deal of $$ if I had been able to do a temp job doing some discovery responses. In fact, I could have made more in those two days, than I will make from the last 2 weeks at the other job. But I was scheduled to work... so had to miss out. That was the last straw.

And some of the staff are showing the lack of class and breeding that I have come to expect. Nasty, sullen and bitchy, and that's in front of other staff and customers... So I just need to get through the next couple of days, then cut loose. I have some plans for what I want to get done in the next couple of weeks, such as getting lots of comic books put on e-bay.

Ok, one stressor out of the way, and hopefully the FRG out of the way... so stress should be less, and my back and migraines will get better.

Whew.

Talk to you later.

There are times I despair, really I do! A person at a higher level of the FRG hierarchy has been sending out generalized emails, including invitations to "Couples" events. I responded to one of the emails saying that my other half was in the South. That is literally all I said. (see below) To which said person sniped back, saying that she had all the FRGs on a general distribution list, and that even those units that are mostly deployed have some stay behinds that could use the information. And then she told me she was offended by my tone. Well, kiss my royal blue behind. Offended? Here's my first message to her, with her name deleted.

"One problem *****.. our other halves are in Louisiana!!!"

What tone? because I was trying to make light of the fact that he's not here?

I got pissy, I'll admit it. Told her that I was offended by being sent information concerning Couples events, which just re-inforces the fact that I am alone, again... Then I told her that She was not permitted to lecture me, ever. Tell me, is it so hard for them to set up a separate email address list for those of us who are alone, and a separate one for those who aren't?

When I told the husband about this crap, he agreed that it was insensitive and obviously ridiculous. The friends I have discussed this with are amazed that someone who is supposed to be trained to HELP family members is this dumb. Why is this bothering me so much? It's just the latest little niggly thing, in a pile of niggly things that has been piling up. Between the FRG crap, the crappy job, my back is killing me, the dog is being a real pain, and today is the last day the husband will be able to call, they are going into a "lockdown the phones" part of training. So he'll be out of touch for two weeks, yeah of course over Valentines day... Just another niggly thing to piss me off. AND I need to lose weight over the next month, but when I'm pissed off, or cranky, FOOD is my crutch. And carrot sticks don't cut it. And then I watch the ridiculous reactions to a couple of cartoons.... dumb, dumb, dumb.

Sorry to be so crabby. Talk to you later.

Winter has returned to Minnesota. It is 3 degrees outside this morning. Luckily I had the heat system checked last week, and sure enough, the on demand hot water heater WAS having a problem. Hopefully, it's fixed for the winter. The little wood stove inside is crackling beautifully and the kettle on top is steaming.

Baby news: She's eating well, and sleeping enough that Mom & Dad can get some too. And her grandma has got to stop shopping for her! But I find these cute little outfits.... Crocheting more blankets too.

If you haven't been to Bring It On http://www.teambio.org/ you are missing some great discussions, as well as being able to contribute to the Bake Sale for Body Armor. A great cause, so hop on over and take a look.

I am supposed to be at an FRG meeting, but I have come to realize that I have little in common with the other family members, especially with the little clique that seems to be running things. They have, as always, known each other for a long time, and the rest of us are barely tolerated as interlopers. Plus, I cannot put up with the "rah rah" rightwing attitude any more. My temper is getting shorter, the longer I listen to them, so I think I'll just make a clean break, keep in touch with those family members I would like to, and forget the organized group.

The job is making me nuts! But hopefully there is some improvement in the future. Of course, I am still job hunting, and hoping that some of the applications I have been sending in will be responded to. Lots of hoping here, huh?

Talk to you later.

They are online! Son and Daughter in Law got back online, so now I can get pictures! Here's one... all together now.... awwwwww. I will be kind to my granddaughter, and won't post the bath pictures ;-)) I have the feeling she will keep her blue eyes, but I'll bet that her dark hair will all fall out and she'll end up a light brown/blonde mix.

I am still sniffly, but the cold isn't progressing terribly badly. Trying some herbal remedies, and they do seem to help. At least I'm not hungover the next morning, as I am with that nasty green stuff (gotta be careful, don't want a lawsuit!)

Something wonderful happened today, and it gave me a good feeling about strangers. I mis-booked our stay in the South. I didn't realize that the troops would be allowed "out" on the last evening and when I tried to lengthen the stay at the hotel we are staying in for the first 3 days, I was told they are full up. So I started calling and checking online. When I called a B&B in Laurel, Mississippi (The Laurel Inn B&B, for anyone heading into that area AFTER March) the very nice proprietor told me that they are completely booked, but that she would give us HER room and sleep in the den, and wouldn't care what time we needed breakfast! Now that renews my faith in people.

Everyone is already cogitating about the State of the Union address. Just a couple of things I would want to hear.... I Quit. I'm Sorry for Lying.... oh yeah, laughing all the way around the block. ...

Talk to you later.

Getting a cold is just NOT in my plans. But I am getting one. can't breathe. Work was miserable. When I got to work, I thought I was having an allergy attack, but now I know it's a cold. Trying some herbal teas and echinachea.

I have been on Bring It On, a web blog that I visit just about every day. There are some women on there, wives or mothers of military members who either are in Iraq, or just got back. That makes for some harrowing reading, folks. As an Anglophile, who lived in England for many years, I read the British papers a lot, as well as the washington post, LA times, some small town papers of places we want to go. Anyway, I was glad to see the articles about Prince Harry who has joined the Army, specifically the Blues and Royals, and will be going to Iraq if they are deployed. Isn't it amazing, the 3rd in line to the throne will go to a war zone, but NOT ONE of the children of the administrations highest leaders, The Shrub, Cheney, Rummy, or of the hawks in Congress are in uniform? Does this bother ANYONE else?

Husband just called from the new place, living in a warehouse full of beds. they are supposed to head out to tentville soon. But at least the food is better, says it might be that they use some salt and pepper! For someone who likes TASTE, this army food just sucks.

Weather here is getting wierd. in the 40's (it should be in the 20's) so the snow is melting and we are getting mud everywhere. ick. It should be like this for a couple of days.

Well, you all take care. Talk to you later.

grey skies, but no migraine! as my SIL would say..... yeeeeeehaw. Talked to the husband twice today, he had the nerve to call and say... I'm sitting out in the sun.... As a friend said, Ok, so close your eyes, everyone hate him for a second... ok, all done. they take off for another area sooner than expected, so my last care package won't get to him until they get back.

the new job didn't materialize, the contract was cancelled. So, I keep hunting. something will come up.

Talked to the son, they are all fine, baby is doing great. I need to talk to DIL for any facts... I'm sure she'll give me all the facts and figures. and since I know you are all absolutely DYING to know , I'll make sure to post them here.

JJ the cat (full name, Jay Bertram Felinie) has become fascinated with the laptop computer... he's watching all my posting intently. His picture is above. Looking regal...isn't he?

not much to talk about... talk to you later.

Migraines on your day off really screw up your day! Dog got sick last night, threw up and needed to go out constantly from 10 last night, till around 3. Wind change and high winds, as well as no sleep = migraine. So just sat around, waiting for meds to work, but got some calls made and took care of a few other things. BUT, not the outside plans I had wanted to do.

Yesterday was GREAT! went to lunch with a friend and shopped (Catherine, I did some for the princess!) sales were fantastic. But it was just so great to chat and be with a friend, who I used to work with and is just a gas! Went to Office Max too, for the office and a couple of fun things for us.

Husband called, they had an awards/promotion ceremony. One of his guys got promoted, and then everyone got to go celebrate. He sounded better, tired but resigned to the fact we can't go see the baby this time. We had planned to stay in Europe for his mid tour leave, but that might change, Denver is a thought and maybe plan some trips out west.

Called the electric company, the wood burner is now dead, and they removed the "Dual Fuel" monitor, so the bill will go up. But I just couldn't keep up with putting water in the thing every three days as well as feeding it with wood every day.

I may have a lead on a new job... this new one is just NOT what I was told it was going to be, and I really don't appreciate the switch, and making less than 1/2 of what I usually do. Hell, I would get more on unemployment! And some of the personality problems I can already see, aren't going to get any better. We'll see. Some good news, a friend's husband didn't lose his job to Ford's cuts. I am sure she is very relieved I'll see her tomorrow. A neighbour has quit smoking, 5 days without a cigarette. That takes a LOT of work!!!! Did that, a long time ago, but remember how hard it was. Son quit too, before baby was born. I am so proud of him!

Well, tomorrow must be better! Talk to you later.

Yeah, still pissed off... Husband is angry, disappointed, and feels really let down. But then, what do we expect any more? This National Guard unit is really going to be wondering why no one is going to be staying in. Loyalty IS a two way street, and they don't show any to their troops at all. Can't wait to meet the Brass at the farewell. I may take a picture of the baby down to the farewell ceremony and show it to them... maybe they might feel some shame... naaaaa. never. These are the same officers who have been known to find out information about leave etc., and make their own arrangements BEFORE giving the news to their troops. Pretty lousy, huh?

As for the Family groups... what a waste of time they have been. All we hear is " don't believe CNN, the war was justified because of 9/11 (aw jeeeeez, c'mon, get real, anyone with any sense or who reads/watches more than Fox or Rash Lamebrain knows Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11)"...anyone who thinks for themselves is somehow suspect, blind obedience to the Great Leader is necessary... Folks, this is scary!

I guess I'm just not a happy camper right now. Wish I knew something to make me feel better. Even chocolate isn't working.

Better go. Talk to you later.

a totally crappy day. In fact, it sucked so massively, it has to be one of the worst. Except for the day we found out he was deploying to the Litter Box from Hell, it could qualify as the worst in the past couple of years.

Husband had applied for an "exception to policy" so he could take the pass days and take it as leave, so we could go and visit the kids and he could see the baby. BUT the National Guard decided no, it wasn't right to allow an exception to be made for anyone. So, he now won't see her until she is over a year old. DAMN IT, he has been gone, either on deployments or TDY for two stinking years, has put in more work than anyone in that unit for years, do you think they could occasionally think of saying thanks in some small way? Shit no. And then some cretin spouse on the unit page gives one of those sanctimonious little speeches " Remember it is an honor that the Guard is even letting us have this time with our soldier(s). " Stupid . HONOR??? That they are taking my husband away, AGAIN, for another 1 1/2 years, to a shit hole, to take part in a war started by a lie, continued with more lies, for an Administration full of draft dodgers, liars, cheats and war profiteers... oh yeah, some fucking honour. (sorry, darlin', just not in the mood to be diplomatic tonight)

This on top of a migraine I woke up with and couldn't get rid of all day, no matter the amount of medication, a plumber that didn't show up, call or anything. A carpenter I don't think I will hire came over to look over the job.

Then a ray of sunshine. Husband called the kids to tell them he couldn't come to see them, and after he hung up, my son called to see how I was! How sweet was that? They are disappointed also, but since they are both veterans, they understand how idiotic the Army can be.

D-i-L and I talked a while. Baby is not sleeping well, she gets out of her swaddling blanket even! I got a couple of those Miracle blankets, which helps some. She also is a very gassy baby, I guess all the digestion system is still developing. But she is up to 6 pounds! So I hope they will get her into a good schedule soon.

sorry folks, a crabby cranky LAW today. Tomorrow has to be better, right?

Talk to you later.

One more... Grandma feeding the princess. Boy, I hope the kids send more pictures soon.

Hey, to everyone who left comments and didn't get a response, I'm sorry! I didn't do something right before, so I could see them. I thank you for your responses and comments. And yes, she is soooo cute. As my husband says, "hey, why not talk about the baby some, huh?" D, you just wait, you'll be just the same!

Husband doing well, getting work done and getting ready to move to another training site, where he won't be able to call. this will be good preparation for his moving into the Big Kitty Litter Box.

The flu is beginning to sweep through my workplace. The person scheduled before my shift, and the person scheduled after me, both didn't make it in today. So I will keep hoping it isn't going to get me. BUT, I do have activated charcoal tablets (for the tummy part), crackers, and tea, kleenex, and sparkling water. I should have gotten some Ginger tea... but other than that, I'm all ready..... just in case.

I sure hope the plumber comes tomorrow. I haven't heard from him today, and I don't know if he's still coming.... Don't you hate waiting for workmen? The "we'll be there between 8 and 2", the no calls while you wait, and wait, and then they don't show up. Enough to drive you NUTS! If I could find a handyman type,who could do a little bit of everything, and was dependable and reliable, I would hire him right away! And would be willing to pay well.

Talk to you later.

I didn't shop for her any more today. Just found boxes to mail everything tomorrow! Other than that, not a lot. Plumber came, is ordering parts, and will be back on Friday! Oh, let's cross our fingers that it will all work and I won't be sitting here all day on my day off waiting for him.

Here's another picture of the most gorgeous baby in the entire universe. Oh, yes, I am the most besotted grandma in the world.

I worked at the new job today. It went fine, learning all sorts of new stuff about the stock. Interesting! But I am still not sure I made the right decision. As I told my mother, I will have to give it a good try, and not just jump into decisions. I need to learn everything about the front end, before I become the manager of it! and after that, we'll see what else I get to do. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't.

Husband didn't call today, I know he's busy and I'm trying hard not to say anything. But I sure wish he'd call. Maybe tomorrow? Heard from an old friend today, he's getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan. He was in Iraq the year before last... and he's in the Reserves! Yeah, I know, they both knew what they were signing up for. But this Iraq bit, is INSANE!!!! ok.. I promise, I'll stop for now. but you might want to drop by http://www.teambio.org/ Bring It On! We have some fun there!

Take care. Talk to you later.

So I did more shopping for the baby... ok, ok. I said I wasn't going to. So, I'm a grandma, I get to do these things. Talked to D-i-L and she told me that they got lots of clothes at the shower, but not the other stuff. Like the monitor, the lamp, the diaper pail! Gramma Deb is going to get the pail and the lamp, I got the monitor and a bottle warmer/cooler. and some other stuff too... yeah yeah, I know, I know.... If she gets more clothes, we may need another dresser! She is turning into a clotheshorse! She is so tiny, she doesn't fill out any of the tiny newborn clothes at all. But I am sure she will fill out everything soon. See, isn't she adorable?????

Husband called today, he is sounding pretty tired but upbeat. the briefings are going well, Generals and Colonels are pleased and the team seems to be really starting to work together. that is such a good thing to hear, now that they have been training for 4 months. When a team starts to work together properly, it's really great. And knowing that he is going to be in the Sand with these people, it's somehow comforting to know that he will be working with good people.

Course I cried when I hung up the phone. Just really emotional this week. Today was especially bad. then I cried again when my daughter in law and I talked, because I could hear the baby in the background. This is silly, I don't usually turn into a faucet! But I think it's the weather too, this unending grey dreary weather. yesterday the sun came out for a few hours, and when the dog and I tried to get out and play, the ice made everything so slippery we couldn't really do much ball playing. And... it was muddy, and madame Doesn't Like mud, her paws are just tooooooo dainty. Watching her "tip toe" around is hysterical... she and the cat are the only thing that make me laugh lately.

And, believe it or not, a miracle has happened! A plumber returned my phone call and will come out tomorrow to look at the leak in the outdoor wood boiler piping in the basement. This may not be the ONLY leak in the system, but it's the one I can find. I'm tired of having to refill the thing every week. Especially when it's really cold out. This outdoor wood boiler is a giant pain in the butt. I don't know if I am saving any money using it, but it is a hell of a lot of work. I need to fill it with wood every day or every other day if it's warmer than 34, and because of the leak, having to fill it with water every week. Next year, I am going to drain it, and just let it sit. It's not worth the little bit of savings. IF husband was home, and we were able to cut our own wood, it would be a good savings method, but since we have to buy wood and I have to load it, it's not saving us much if anything.

The small woodstove in the house on the otherhand, is really doing it's job. Keeps the house nice and warm, and besides, it's cheerful!



Talk to you later.

Migraine. What a way to spend a day off. Crap. But I did get the grocery shopping done. But that's about all I got done! When I get one, and while I wait for the Maxalt to kick in, I just sit. That's all I can do. I had a lot of things on my list for today, but the migraine took over instead.

Today was D-i-L's baby shower, I am so tempted to call and find out what she got (and what she still needs). But I know she's bound to be awfully tired, and the last thing she wants is to talk to anyone. So I'll wait till tomorrow. I even stayed out of Target today, so I wouldn't be tempted! But I do need to go to town tomorrow for dog food, and it would be great to take care of everything all together. Besides, I just love buying baby stuff!!

I was hoping husband would call today. He didn't call yesterday either. I guess I am getting spoiled by his daily calls and when he can't, it bothers me. Stupid huh? I know how busy he is, and working his butt off, but I still could use a call. Better get over that, they are going to be heading somewhere else soon, and we have been warned that we are not going to hear from them at all during that portion of training. Right now, the timing sucks. I need to bounce a couple of things off him, but I suppose I better make my own decisions without the usual discussions. It just helps me to step back and look at things differently.

Talk to you later.

New job starts today. I have accepted a position as a Front End Manager at our local Co-op. Talked to the general manager yesterday for a little while, and I am wondering what I got myself into! My retail experience isn't vast, but I think she wants someone with fresh eyes to look at the way things are being done. I first have to get trained at the cashier position and take a look at how that is done, and how we can do it better. I'm responsible for doing the monthly schedule too. So I worry that I'm going to piss off someone, who I don't even know yet!

And I think I am over the "I need to move" urge I had. I will miss not seeing the baby weekly. But I know that I would end up being that dreaded Grandma/M-i-L. Would be better to leave them wishing I was there, rather than hating the fact that I am there.

I better quit shopping for her too! I don't mind spoiling her (and you can't spoil a baby that little!) but I also need to work on some financial matters of our own.

Got home to lousy grey weather again... or is that still. The weather in Denver where the kids are, was wonderful. sunny and very warm (in the 60's) That was one of the other reasons I was looking at moving. But we had to take into consideration moving expenses, storage of household goods, etc. I know, she's my granddaughter, and I should not think about those mundane considerations, but it all has to be weighed. I do plan to go out and spend some time there every couple of months or so. It's not that far, and I hope I can find some good plane fares.

I'll write more later.

She is the most perfect little girl EVER!!! Ok, so I'm not exactly impartial... my darling granddaughter was born on Friday, 1/6/05, at 37 weeks (20 days early) My dear daughter in law went through 36 hours of hard labour and was in the hospital afterwards until Monday. Granddaughter was in until Tuesday morning.

Lots of work done at the apartment, did some organizing and shopping for the "kids" (husband hates that term).

Did I say she was perfect? oh, well... it's worth repeating! I'm terribly tempted to move to where they live, but don't want to be the interfering mother in law/grandma. They both said that they would love to have me there, and really, except for the house, some friends and my new job, there isn't anything to hold me here. If I could sell the house, my friend have always been available on the phone, and I can find another job (or do day care for the baby!) .... darn, it's tempting!

Today has been another interesting one. Still no baby. Son is tired, and daughter in law is completely exhausted. I wish they would hurry up and do the C Section. 24 hours in labour is long enough, dontcha think???

Had a job interview today. Very interesting, I would love the job, it is completely different from my life as a paralegal, in the food retail industry, but it's less than 1/2 the money I usually bill at. But on the other hand, it's only 15 minutes away from my house, as opposed to 35 minute drives for paralegal jobs downtown. And that doesn't include 20 minutes on the bus from the park and ride! With the price of gas and then the increase in bus fares, plus the pet sitter (dog has a medical condition, can't go more than 8 hours without a walk) and the person to feed the wood burner in the winter (I can't do it in the dark, it gets dangerous in icy conditions) the end result is that I would still get more money if there were any paralegal jobs, but there aren't any out there, that are close enough for me to get to! The only one I heard of.... is 1 hour and 45 minutes away. ridiculous! Anyway, I think I have talked to a lot of my friends (a fellow paralegal, when I told her I could be in jeans and no lawyers, asked me what the hell I was calling her for, was I NUTS???) and they think the job description (lots of organizing, getting stuff done) sounds perfect for me, and I should ENJOY working again, hang the $$. so.......

I fly out of here at 6 am, need to be there at 4, need to get up around 2 am.... maybe I won't go to bed at all! Just take a nap. I'll write from the hotel. But any one even listening? Just wondering.

WHAT a DAY!!! Let's see... son called last night. Daughter in law was put into the hospital last night, due to pre-eclampsia. So, she lay on her left side and we all hoped that she would get better enough to be allowed home for bed rest. More on that later.

This morning, husband left to go back to pre-deployment training down south (or as he affectionately calls it "The Gulag) It was the usual horrible sitting in the airport waiting for his plane to leave, with other families holding on to their soldier for dear life. After the plane left, I saw a woman weeping with no one else with her. When I asked her if she was OK, she told me she and her soldier had been married on Sunday! Her little girl was so worried about her mommy... and kept asking where "Jim" was. It was heartbreaking.

Then I got home.... to a message from the son, nothing worked, they are inducing her as I type! So, got reservations to head out to where they are, leaving early early early on Friday. Got a room reserved, a car, a plane ticket, the dog kennel reservation, cat sitter booked, holding mail, wood burner person to fill it for me (don't want the lines to freeze!)... I know I'm forgetting something....PACKING! Oh, yeah, need clothes, camera, laptop, Bear... better make a list, huh?

All this running around, has helped to keep my mind off being alone again. Tonight it will hit home. But I can keep busy for a while. Got a job interview tomorrow also! It will be an interesting week, folks.

talk to you later.