Thursday, October 19, 2006

OK, now I'm pissed off!

I have been visiting and blogging on various Military Spouse sites. And they are full of (mostly) wives who are crying out for help. Their FRG is crap, the other women are cold and nasty, or the group is so tight that they won't let anyone in. It makes me so angry! There are so many of US out here, so many of us that don't fit in the mold of the perfect little army wife, so many who want to DO something for our "sisters" the other ones who are alone in a strange place, with no one to talk to or lean on.

It's not right. How many are out there who are in our unit? and I can't get hold of them, I can't let them know that the shitty FRG that is out there is NOT the only place to go, to call, to have someone listen. We can't get their email addresses or phone numbers (only with their permission... data privacy etc.) There are some great FRGs, really, I am going to a meeting of one in November, but some family members are so again ANY FRG, or group associated with the army, they sit out there with no support, no help.

It just pisses me off!


Susan said...

Keep in mind that some women don't want to be contacted because of what they've heard about FRG. We found that more than half of the husbands won't give correct information to even contact their wives (giving their own cell numbers instead of their wifes)I don't know what's worse, having a bad FRG, or not having the contact to any FRG.

Sugar Loaf said...

i agree with you susan, I am an FRG leader, and i recently took this position over, I have foudn so many contact numbers wrong, esp. email addresses, and then there are those ladies from the very start said they wanted nothing to do with the FRG based off what they heard. I heard some terrible things, I was warned to stay away from those things, but I wanted to give it a fair shot, yes the leader before me was not all great, but I am trying to change that.

Coral said...

What's FRG? I am a soon-to-be military spouse. I've been searching for liberal minded spouses of the military, or some place where I can get some info, insight, or support or something. I feel like everything I find online is a bunch of spouses that are very conservative and are just, well, living a life that I don't want. I'm feel isolated, and Im not even a milspouse yet! eek. I know everything will be alright. I mean, I am in charge of my own happiness, etc... but, man, it would be nice to find a place where there are people who are like me and are/will be going through some of the same things as me... such as moving to Italy where I don't speak a lick of Italian (YET), and I want to assimilate into Italian culture and live off base. But all I could find were milspouses who hated Italy, still didn't speak any Italian after over a year, and were very Republican.

Are there additional websites where I might feel at home? I'm a blogger on other sites, but all my friends are in different situations, so I don't have many responses on the important posts I make.

Jen D said...

Hello there! I am aware this post is quite old, but had to say something. Thank you for your blogs. I am an Army Wife, and daughter. I am also a VERY Liberal, Democrat. I encounter so many women that are disgusted by me and tell me I do not support my husband and father because of my view on certain subjects. Nothing could be further from the truth. My husband has been deployed for 4 months and I have quite some time to go. I have no support system like the typical army wife, because I am nothing close to typical. Anyway. Thank you so much.
Jen D

Anonymous said...

I recently (this weekend) had a very bad experience with our FRG as well. This has not been the first time. Our FRG really SUCKS. I want nothing to do with it. Is it not SAD that we as wives do not have anyone to turn to for help? The FRG Leaders can mistreat us, with-hold important information because of personality conflicts and all that is okay? Yet, if we stand up to say something - we are slapped in the hand.

Jenn said...

After my husbands PCS to Korea I found myself in need of information I was assured in our pre-deployment briefing that our FRG would be around if ever I needed anything. After setting down with the women who promised to help me, some four weeks prior, she informed me that, "I wasn't in the Military" thus she couldn't help me. I was so gutted, I felt so alone and so ridiculous. When I complained to her Supervisor I was assured that I was the one that was "to sensitive" having a hard time getting on without my husband. I don't go on Base for information anymore, its sad that I get more help from a community rather than A&FRF who are here to service us, the military families. Best of luck and Happy Holidays to all of you!!