Heartbreaking week

We buried three young men this week. three. another is lying in a hospital, without his legs, with his young wife holding his injured hands. So while we are happy the architect of this insanity is gone, it was wrong. wrong that he got a huge parade, wrong that we were told that this jackass son of a bitch was the "greatest Secretary of Defense ever". Wrong that he will make millions from books, wrong that he'll be treated like some conquering hero by the idiots that will have him speak at their conventions, as a "visiting expert". But then I have to consider the source of that head up his ass quote. Deadeye Dick.. another loser. They needed to be at the funerals, they needed to be looking in the eyes of those mothers, that young wife, the brothers and sisters. I hope he chokes on all the praise, and I just have to remember, what goes around comes around. If there really is karma, he will suffer. and then I get to stand there and say something as stupid as.... we go to war with the army we have. Hate?? oh yeah.

Yippee!!! Hot Damn!

gone gone gone... yay!!! I am so happy that Rummy is gone gone gone. or at least on his way out. Maybe now the men and women in uniform will be treated with the respect they deserve, the Generals wil be treated less like whipping boys and more like the experts in war most of them are. His attitude, his arrogance and disdain for the troops was very obvious.... "we go to war with the army we have..." jackass. When he talked about mean and lean, the kid was in Baghdad or somewhere in the neighbourhood (he didn't tell me a lot). I remember talking to him, he told me "mean and lean? yeah, fine, come on over here, we'll show ya mean.."

We have had quite a day! The Dems are in charge of the House, and the Senate in Minnesota... our Governor is still the Repub, but I really disliked the jerk who ran for Democrat (I used to work for the creep)the Repub isn't a bad guy. Now if we can just kick them all in the butt to get something DONE! instead of all the stupid posturing and dumb ideas.

Hope your candidate won!

LAW

MINE!

No, I'm not channeling a two year old. After seeing a tempest in a teapot at another blog, I have decided to make this announcement very very clear. This is MY blog. This is where I get to say whatever I want to say. I try very hard not to offend too many people. but that is strictly my call, the good manners that my mother worked very hard to teach me, and what Linda Ellerbee just called civil discourse. But if you are offended by what I say, don't read it. Or feel free to argue with me! be polite, if you know how to be, be respectful and fair.

There are some who find that what I say is somehow traitorous and that I am hurting the morale of the troops. Those troops that I know have read it, don't find that at all, and since they are the only ones whose opinion on my "traitorous" ideas I give two hoots about, that's the end of that topic.

To those who decided that somehow talking about supporting and being a different type of person, namely an Army wife, is somehow "picking a fight" because I didn't agree with your point of view (civilian) ..... get a life, get a grip. and while we are on the subject of being said Army Wife, to have your anger at ridiculous statements like "why do you LET him do whatever the Army says" or even the truly moronic "don't let him kill anyone" be compared to someone's annoyance at the silly statements about having an overdue baby..... may I say that comparison is truly the most moronic, head up your ass, fatuous statement I have heard in a long time. There, THAT'S picking a fight. go for it. but be careful. This is MY space, my place and I'll decide if you get to talk here.

Dear readers; I am not writing for you or for anyone but myself. I won't deny I get chuffed when someone reads what I write and says they like it. I even get a charge when someone says they DON'T like it.. after all, they at least read it. If I end up writing for just myself... fine and dandy. At least I'm writing, I'm not screaming.

There... said it. May I say (yes, I may) that is a big relief.

talk to you later.

I will, I mean it!

the very next person that says "oh you are on the downhill slope of the deployment" and "you must be so happy this is almost over".... I will pull their lungs out through their nose... honest... with a SPOOOOON!

no, it's NOT almost over, we have another 5 months. and who the hell decided that the first 6 months were worse than the last? Who, tell me. And I'll beat that one with a 2x4. Maybe it's just that we are so tired of it all, we are so tired of the waiting to see the next name on the list, we are so sick of the being alone, the running for the phone just in case, the hoping for an email, the being scared when you look at the paper, taking care of everything...

To be honest, I don't think they think at all! the "they"... those meaning-to-be-nice civilians. NO, I'm not a civilian. I'm an Army Wife. That's a totally different animal. I speak a different language from those "normal" people. I have friends who aren't military, they are dear to me, but they still don't understand. I know they try to, I know they feel bad for me, and are worried about me. But to be honest, the only ones who understand are my military friends, the new ones that I have made on SpouseBuzz and other places, the dear ones that are here in town who put up with my crabbiness and occasionally insane ideas.

Yeah, I'm cranky today... so sue me.

OK, now I'm pissed off!

I have been visiting and blogging on various Military Spouse sites. And they are full of (mostly) wives who are crying out for help. Their FRG is crap, the other women are cold and nasty, or the group is so tight that they won't let anyone in. It makes me so angry! There are so many of US out here, so many of us that don't fit in the mold of the perfect little army wife, so many who want to DO something for our "sisters" the other ones who are alone in a strange place, with no one to talk to or lean on.

It's not right. How many are out there who are in our unit? and I can't get hold of them, I can't let them know that the shitty FRG that is out there is NOT the only place to go, to call, to have someone listen. We can't get their email addresses or phone numbers (only with their permission... data privacy etc.) There are some great FRGs, really, I am going to a meeting of one in November, but some family members are so again ANY FRG, or group associated with the army, they sit out there with no support, no help.

It just pisses me off!

It's been a while

Ok. So, it's been a while... sorry, been incredibly busy. Work has been busy, intense, and almost too much. I've been getting the house ready to list, and for the Dome Tour, which is a tour that our architect puts on. I thought it would be a good first open house, and jeeeez, it was a LOT of work. This place is sooooo clean. There are a lot of things stashed away in strange places. But there weren't too many people on the Tour, and I don't think we even got a nibble of an interested buyer.

Our Webcams work! terrible quality picture and freezes up often, but it's great to see his face. I've been on a few military wives blogs, and some of their husbands don't get near a computer or a phone that often. So we have to consider ourselves very lucky!! Some of these women are in sucah a lousy position. they are alone, in a strange place, with their husband's deployed, nasty FRG and others... So the blogs and websites are a great venting point. And most of them don't seem to mind my liberal leanings (ha ha)

Because of the tour, the dog is at the kennel (or as we call it, the spa) the cat is enjoying the freedom to go anywhere. And it's nice and quiet. As husband said this morning -- she's just a LOT of dog. I'm enjoying the quiet too. So, if anyone out there knows anyone looking for a come house w/ten acres up in Central MN, let me know!

Everyone take care. hug your family.

LAW

His brother sang goodbye.

Today we buried another young man. A young man who had studied to be a police officer, a young man who helped his high school football team to a championship, a TaeKwonDo black belt. They called him a rock, they called him a wonderful brother and devoted son, a good soldier and a great friend.

His mother, when the bishop told the congregation to give the kiss of peace, went down the front row, not of her family, but of the dignitaries. She gave a kiss of peace and love to the Governor, senators, generals, colonels, the men who sent her oldest son to war. His younger brother sang Amazing Grace, his voice roughened with tears, and there wasn't a dry eye in the high school auditorium.

The Patriot Guard was the honor guard, and it was stunning.

But after all that pomp, the tears and the brave words, the medals and the music, there's a hole in the world, a huge hole in his family. A wonderful blend of Hispanic and Swedish, aunts, uncles, cousins galore, but so wounded and sad and lonely.

Take a minute and think of him and of them. And of his friends in the Sand, who had a memorial service there, so far away from that lovely town in the Red River Valley near Sauk Centre. There's a hole there too. They don't want to remember how he died, I don't know that I want to either. But we need to, need to remember that a young man did his duty. We don't need to think, for now, of how or why this all started, we just need to remember him, and the others who die every day, their families, their friends. Goodbye Josh.

LAW

Farewell to a champion

Watching Andre Agassi the last two sets, was agony. He's limping, in so much pain, and still trying! and coming up with some amazing flashes of brilliance, the "old" Andre. We loved watching him, but today I kept wanting him to stop, to go lie down, to be out of pain. So while I will miss watching him this week, I'm glad he won't be in that level of pain. It will take months for his back to stop giving him the walk of an 86 year old. And of course I cried! He did, and I don't think there was anyone with dry eyes in the stadium or watching on TV.

But as a raging fan, I want to thank him for the afternoons and evenings spent glued to the TV (it was a good way to get the ironing done...) the heartstopping near misses, the incredible points that drove me cheering to my feet in my living room and calling my mother (another tennis fan), and for the grace and true class he showed at all times. To him, and his family, all the best, thanks for sharing him with us, we appreciated it, now it's your turn.

LAW

open arms, my ass!

For those of you who are involved in or know the military, you know how the Services push that group known as the FRG, Family Readiness Group. They are supposed to be there for the families, to provide them the support they need whilst their soldiers are deployed. The group is supposed to be welcoming, not judgmental and rank is SUPPOSED to be left at the door. After all, we are family members/wives/parents/husbands, and we don't have rank. But as with all things that touch the military, supposed to isn't what is really happening.

I pissed off the head of the FRG I used to be with, by pointing out that some of us DO like information and she isn't diseminating the information that is being sent out (I get it from another group, so know what our group is missing). This woman has come right out and told us that she doesnt like to get online, doesn't like to watch the news (other than FOX!!) and doesn't really want to know much about what is going on in the world or in Iraq. I also pointed out (and folks, I WAS nice about it, I have been assured of that by more than one person who is NOT related to me that read the letter) that putting our group together with another group, whose troops are returning in the fall, while ours don't get back until spring was really hurtful to us. Listening to all the joyful planning for homecoming isn't much fun, when you have over 6 months to wait! I offered, again, to write the newsletter, since we hadn't seen one in over 2 months.

She got terribly upset with me, accused me of picking on her. I figured, ok, she'd get over it. But then she involved her husband, who is with mine in Iraq. He is a senior NCO! I'm lucky, my husband out ranks him. The senior NCO jumped on my husband, and told him flat out that we aren't in that particular company officially and basically indicated that I should leave. Now these men have served together for years. So thanks to a woman who has no self worth but has to run and hide behind her husband, who cannot take ANY criticism at all even when put into a letter offering help because she is obviously overworked, a long friendship is impacted. and I realized what I have always really known. I don't fit in these groups, and should just forget it.

So a few of us are going to make our own group. We are going to do what we wanted to do in the official group, do things that support our families and our soldiers. and folks.... don't believe in the Open Arms, Big Umbrella crap... you have to think "correctly", and remember, don't ever piss off the Top Kick's wife!

Still learning....

I just got onto a new military family website, and posted a query about FRGs... it's very depressing to see that there are a lot of people who are in the same boat with their FRG. But it's nice to have support out there.

LAW

good things, little things

One of the units in my husbands Brigade Combat Team has been helping a school in their district in Iraq, the unit they replaced had started rebuilding it, and when the new unit came in, they "picked up the ball". Now the building was done. but it was empty. Nothing in it for the kids. So they put out a list.

I put the word out at the law firm I work at. and it was amazing. I got coloured pencils, pencils, paper, soccer balls (a special request!) erasers, and cash! I have been shopping and you wouldn't believe how much you can get for these kids. they want shoes too. I'm guessing flip flops!

So folks, I know, its a little thing, and while I scream and yell and rant and rave about the big things, the killings, the bombings, the corruption and what seems like the sheer hopelessness of it all.. this happens. OK, so it's small. but for a few minutes, some kids are going to be happy. a soccer ball will be kicked around, coloured pencils will be used and a picture wil be drawn and a mom will smile at what her child drew. She may not have a refrigerator to stick it on, but I'll bet it gets smiled over and put up somewhere! maybe its just a few minutes of happiness. but I'll take it. a few minutes here, a few minutes there. it may not change the big picture, but there are lots of little pictures that can be changed, and be made better.

~LAW~

It's the little stuff....

Like..... the new weedwhacker... I needed someone with strong hands to twist that knob thingie so I could advance the string.... and damn. NO one around cause it's 4th of July. or holding the ladder so I can just reach the burned out bulb up there in the dressing room closet track... do you know how damned annoying it is to have to wait and call a neighbour the next day to see if he can come over to help? The big stuff you hire someone for, and you don't feel like an idiot having someone come over to frame a wall, or dig a big ass hole for the egress window... but the little stuff... you become that pain in the butt neighbour.

and as for the weedwhacker. It has to go back, it's defective! ha ha! even with a pair of pliers, the strong carpenter neighbour couldn't get it to move. So now I don't have to feel like a total weakling.

Decided you all needed another picture of the granddaughter.. yeah so sue me.
Isn't she adorable? and if you think you are going to answer anything other than yes... you are crazy.

There are days when just spending a few hours hanging out with her would be my entire ambition for the week. I could sit and stare at her, play with those toes and blow kisses on that cute little tummy until her mommy and daddy made me give her back ( or until she did one of those diapers)

But, instead of that, I get to go back to work tomorrow, which is very quiet since a lot of people decided to take the rest of the week off. Damn.

so take care. Talk to you later.

Never..... lasted a week

This young man was 19. He wasn’t a football hero, or a super student. Just a regular kid, from what we read. But his sister’s kids loved their candy man uncle, who slipped them candy when mom wasn’t looking. He died yesterday in the heat of Iraq, far away from the green of Willmar MN. He wasn’t alone, his friends were there. As I said, the National Guard goes in convoy with their relatives, their friends, their co-workers.

So when you watch the parade go down the street, when you oooh at the “rocket’s red glare” and wipe the Barbeque sauce off your chin, think about Kyle Miller for a second, take a minute to thank his mom and dad. Those of us who go to his funeral in the next couple of weeks will do so, and I’ll be proud to take them for you.

LAW

Never again, I hope

I went to a funeral today. He was 22. His friends said he was a nice guy, liked to spend time with his buddies, liked chasing girls, loved fishing (they tell a fishing story about a record catfish, but have pictures to prove it!) had a super smile and wonderful eyes, and he was only 22. Two thousand people came to say goodbye, 250 in leathers on bikes with flags, the Governor, the General and a Representative. His brother, his father and mother, his stunned grandparents and a host of aunts, uncles and cousins, his best buddy "walking wounded". and he was only 22.

Sgt Brent Koch. 22 years old, killed by an IED in Iraq. It broke my heart to see his friend, who was hurt in the same bombing, hobbling in uniform to his seat in the gym where the two of them used to play basketball. When National Guard soldiers go to war, they go with their friends, their brothers and sisters, their fathers and mothers, aunts, uncles and cousins.

As political as I am, there wasn't any room for that there. Maybe before, reading BIO, or after listening to the radio. But then, no. There was only time to grieve, to say hello to a Col I know, and thank you to the Patriot Riders.

Like we all said to each other, I hope we don't see each other at another one ever again.

talk to you later.

Frustration!

today has been one frustration after another. husband and I usually IM every evening... not for the past 4 days! he pays a ridiculous amount to his ISP in the Sand... and the damned thing doesn't damned well WORK!!!

And the guy I had doing some work in the basement has managed to misplace ALL the trays for the dehydrator! I have 35 bucks worth of strawberries that I want to make leathers out of... and no trays!!! and the guy won't answer the phone... avoiding the bill collectors I assume. so I'll have to do this the old way, cookie sheets in a cool oven... long slow process.. and try to get some new trays. This guy has been a disaster from day one. didn't do a really good job, broke my lawn mower mowing the city right of way, now this.... and he'll whine at me... about God going to provide.... while he tries to over charge me for work. well, not in this house. not again.

And the sinus infection is giving me a huge headache, which is going to morf into a migraine any minute now. Went to the neurologist today, got Topamax (supposedly a good migraine preventative). then I started reading about side effects... a bit scary there folks, but I have to also remember that these are a few people, who had a bad result, and there are thousands who had a good one.... working in the plaintiff medical litigation field really really doesn't help!

work is piling up at work, and I need to take some time off and get this house ready to put on the market! but when I get home... I'm dead tired, and not much gets done. the house is a mess, a bunch of unfinished projects.

and overlying it all... I'm alone out here, and I'm tired of it all. ever have a day when all you want to do is walk away? from all of it? knowing there is a funeral for a 22 year old kid looming is the "icing" on the cake

sorry.. feeling down, tired, and sick. probably shouldn't post this, but hell. the dog doesn't respond and the cat is in a crappy mood.

take care y'all. talk to you later.

~LAW~

Sad Day

It's a sad day. One of the MN Guard members was killed in Iraq. Not anyone I knew. or from our unit, but he's still "one of ours".

What a sad waste of a 22 year old young man. and I had the awful feeling when I saw the headline... oh god, don't let it be my husband.... and when it wasn't, that feeling of relief made me feel so very guilty.

What a Father's Day for his family. Think about them, if you are a believer in something, pray for them.

~LAW~

My sweet baby granddaughter

Isn't this the most beautiful child ever in the entire universe? And she's in a dress her Nana wore a long time ago. A very very very long time ago.

Wonderful visit. I got to baby sit, nibble on tiny toes, and watch her blow bubbles. I think she enjoys it most, when she has a little bit of formula in her mouth... makes such a fun sound! She smiles with her whole body! a big gummy grin, those blue eyes sparkle, and she wriggles with glee. (yeah, besotted grandmother....)

son and dil are househunting. And isn't that just so much fun? everyone who's done it, sit back a second... remember? yuk. Took son and darling child around a nice townhouse development. got into one open house.... pretty nice one.

The weather was HOT! So our trip to a botanical garden didn't happen. Who wants to fry? So she and I went for a very early morning but nice walk along a green strip where they live and came across a field full of prairie dogs! Seems all the construction along a military base nearby had chased them out. So a couple of yards from a busy street, the little fellas were chattering and chittering away as Nana and the stroller with sleeping baby walked along. Fun! If I can get back there before winter, I hope we can see them when she is awake!

Came home with a very heavy heart... miss seeing her so damn much.

Got home, my carpenter was working away and the work he has done is gorgeous. But unfortunately, my escape artist cat got out the day before I got home. I didn't realize it, because when the carpenter is working, the cat runs into the basement, the compressor bugs him. So when the carpenter left, and the cat didn't come out... I realized he had jumped the wire. I walked around, calling, but nothing... The next day, I went through the woods and to the barn calling... and heard him yelling like a banshee. the idiot went up into the hayloft of our 100 year old barn... and couldn't get down. Very glad to see him. The dog showed her joy, by grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and hauling him around the floor.

Back to work. Not just at the office either. spent most of a morning scraping the basement floor... the flooring installer comes tomorrow. Planning a baking blitz this weekend, since I missed doing it last weekend. Besides the guys deserve a double batch. And they know why.

Y'all take care now. talk to you later.

Nana LAW.

Weekend, rest? hah!

Why is it that weekends are so busy, that we need to go back to work on Monday to rest? Well, this weekend will be one of those in spades.

I have a LONG list of stuff to get done. Since the certified, properly trained Maytag man came and fixed the oven, that includes baking! When he moved that oven out.... eeeewwwwwww. Nasty nasty nasty. Now, it's clean! And yes, it was more expensive, but no questions, he had the parts, he knew what he was doing, so I consider it worth it.

the basement needs painting. the ceiling done, the cleanup finished, so off we go to Menards for Primer, and good paint. I found, to my cost, that buying cheap paint just means you paint twice. Not totally sure of the colour, warm, earth tone, it's a huge room and can handle a slightly darker colour. I was considering a bright yellow. but that could be cold. Flooring is next, I am looking at vinyl (a wood look) and new ceiling lights!

the cupola guy came and measured, so I better get up there and clean it out, so he doesn't have to waste time doing that. Lots of books up there.

and then of course, there is the regular stuff, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cut the grass, some weeding maybe? damn, I'm already tired!

I know I should try for some profound stuff... but I have so damn much else to do.... profundities are in short supply.

So... have a good weekend, talk to you later.

~LAW~

Mother's Day

Rain, rain, mud and grey skies. Don't even feel like it's Mother's Day. It's more like Halloween, I wish I hadn't packed the long underwear!!!! the sweet potato vines got frost bit. and the basil too!

No, the stove still isn't fixed. My local yokel whined, moaned and couldn't fix it. So, now I had to register with the Amana group and hopefully a registered, certified technician will fix it Tuesday. and why is it, now that I can't bake anything, I want Lasagna, or baked ziti!?

Good news..... well, let's see... hmmm... I got a locker rented at the Y. I was on the waiting list, so now I don't have to schlep everything back and forth. and work is great, lots of stuff going on and I'm incredibly busy. A couple of nasty clients, one of whom wondered if it was my "time of the month!" sexist old fart.

Husband and I are able to email in the evenings (US time, dawn his time), except when the internet provider on his base screws up, and we can't get connected. It sure is getting hot there, 105 today when he called. The difference between there and here... 9 hours and 50 degrees, and a lot of mail/email/and heartache.

the basement is coming along wonderfully. the ceiling was done yesterday, yes it's popcorn (which to the cognoscenti is a disgrace) but it was in such awful condition before then, it is a great improvement. Now to prime and paint, and then flooring. Found some really neat stuff, vinyl you don't need to glue down. I was thinking about laminate but the cost is insane. and since there is heat in the floor... can't do carpet. The landscaper is coming tomorrow, the egress window will be done, and a few other things... and I really need to get the driveway regravelled... muddy water geysering up when you drive down it may be fun in commercials about 4 wheelers, but not much when coming down my own driveway in a Sedan!

jeez, I wish I had something nice to tell you all. but I don't. Need to get my flights together for Denver next month.

Take care, and talk to you soon. ~LAW~

May flowers

All those may flowers may just curl up and say forget it!!! It's cold here again, in the 40s and they are even talking frost. so, there you are, your weather forecast for the frozen tundra.. redux.

Sitting in front of a lovely fire in the woodstove. and wishing everything else was as good! My baking endeavours are on hold... my oven element broke (yes, again dear... I know...) so I have all the cookie dough I made for the bake sale in the fridge, waiting. The guys I bake for in the Sand will have to wait too. There's one guy... the Cookie Monster... I hear he loves them.

The carpenter is here working on the basement. as I was showing him around, stumbled on a gift from the dog. She hasn't done that in YEARS. I think that was the day after I had the 2 day migraine last weekend and was so tired I couldn't wake up to take her out.... she's not usually allowed into the basement, so I must have left the gate open. Why did someone else have to see that?????? Anyway, the carpenter is done with the closet, now working on the broom closet. We just have to figure out the ceiling problem.

I joined the Y this week! and did some laps at lunch today. Oh my gawd...the chlorine. I have such red eyes, and they hurt sooooooo bad. I think I'll wait until I get some goggles to do that again! Guess tomorrow will be the elliptical.

And at work opposing counsel is just making me nuts... but that's as far as I go with that. work stays there. But the boss still likes my work..

And my honey sent me tulips! salmon and lemon... gorgeous. And since the office is very chilly , they are lasting a loooooong time. I'll have to bring them home tomorrow. now I know the cat doesn't like roses. Wonder how he feels about tulips!

Well, folks, there was my week. A few other insanities that no one needs to hear...

talk to you later.. ~LAW~

Amazing week..

From the property behind me, comes the sweet evening sound of semi automatic weapons fire (yeah, after 45 minutes, I have called the local sheriff's office, and the officer who answered the phone did let me know that I wasn't nuts, that is IS Semi Automatic Weapons Fire, and they are sending someone out)Cute young sheriff's deputy just came up... he's interested that the SAWF is also interspersed with High Powered Rifle and shotgun fire... so now he gets to drive around on the back roads and try to find whatever yutz is out there playing games.

Let's see... it was my birthday, and a very nice one too. a lovely card from everyone at work, roses and truffles from my sweetie in the Sand, a watch from my folks, but without the booklet and it has lots of buttons and dials and stuff.. The "kids" called, but the baby was sleeping so she didn't chat. DIL left me a lovely message the next day, with the grandbaby babbling... it was so cool!

Work is going fine. It really is a great place to work!

I am trying to get our webcams to work... AOL didn't work last night. let's just hope that MSN is going to work tonight.

Watching West Wing.. damn, I'm going to miss that show.

Talk to you later. ~LAW~