Outed...

Went to a lovely party yesterday - Corned Beef, Cabbage, some fantastic soda bread, and a great Irish Lamb Stew, and everyone brought beer - good beer, Guinness, Smithwicks, Harp.... yum..

When we got there, our hostess pulled me aside, holding a copy of Military Spouse Magazine... Is this YOU??? now, her husband used to be in our chain of command - he's been transferred to another unit/area command, so I thought for a second. But - what the hell, right? They know us, they know the cat, they know the house... so it's kinda obvious, and I trust her discretion. She twinkled at me, her husband grinned... and no more was said.

Maybe it's time for LAW to to move out of the anonymity of the blog - but not today!

LAW

Respect, can we get some

The MyCAA debacle is the tip of an iceberg that has been floating along for a long long time. The general lack of preparation and disorganization was made worse by a total disregard of the impact of an arbitrary decision made by a group of bureaucrats, and complete lack of respect for the military spouses.

Way back when I first became a military wife (wow, 32 years…) I remember the only semi joking remark from a 1st Sgt – “hey, Spc ____, if we wanted you to have a wife, we’da issued you one”.. Back then, we were supposed to spring out of a big green duffle bag, and be the sweet little helpmeet/wifey.. We were called “dependants” and treated as such, as an inconvenience that the military had to put up with. Then, a few years later, {poof} we were told we were “family members” we were supposedly going to be regarded as partners in military life. [I can hear the snickers now… and the chorus of “yeah …. Right”] We were included in ceremonies and we now hear constantly how much the senior ranks value us, the new “saying” is keep the family happy to keep the soldier happy. All very nice to hear in speeches, pronouncements and proclamations of family days and support before deployment. The reality – well, that’s something else again altogether!

We come to the latest slap in the face, delivered by the DoD - the department for Military Community and Family Policy to be precise. First – the MyCAA program was ended (oh, excuse me... "paused) – with no warning, or notice to any of the spouses that were already IN the program. How did we find out? On Facebook or from the Navy Times, dammit! So, it’s not enough to slap more than 98,000 military spouses already in the program and thousands more within the process by screwing up their schooling, to torpedo the plans that they made – nope, you all needed to make sure you made it a whole lot worse by not actually telling them what was happening. You thought we would just sit there and smile sweetly and say… oh thank you so much… oh bless your heart….

After we stood up and started organizing, started Facebook pages and calling our congress people, after Veterans’ Organizations and some of the family groups demanded answers, after phone calls, articles and TV spots, you finally gave a “statement.” Which says… nothing. You all waffled on about this is a “planned” review… that approved documents would be honored. We get this vacuous muttering:

“Military spouses represent a significant, young, diverse and motivated component of America’s labor force. We recognize that the military lifestyle calls for portable careers and that military spouses need access to education and training for careers that are portable and high-growth nationally. This short-term break will allow us to better assess the program to ensure we are achieving that goal.”

It takes weeks for some of the program recipients to actually get notified, and THIS is what they got

“Dear MyCAA Student: Please be advised that the My Career Advancement Account (MyCAA) program has suspended operations indefinitely. As you’re aware this program has provided active duty military spouses with funding to start or continue their education/ training.... Some services are still accessible, but financial support is on hold. According to the announcement, military spouses who have generated an approved FA form won't be affected*The Department of Defense is doing a top-to-bottom review of the program. To be clear, we are not sure when the program will open again. It could be as early as the Summer 2010 semester, or perhaps, stretch to the Fall 2010 semester. We are certain that some changes to program approval are likely, and in the interim students should be pursuing alternate sources of financial aid (Military One Source [MOS], FAFSA, finaid.org, Post 9-11 transfer of GI Bill benefits, etc).”

*The truth is, that many of our spouses are reporting that their payments are NOT being made to the schools, they are going to have to pay the fees out of pocket, or drop out.

The article in the AF times had this gem:

“Military spouses — who were depending on the program to help pay for classes for which they already had registered — could not be told about the shutdown ahead of time because “given the gravity of the situation, there was no time for a warning,” Pentagon spokeswoman Air Force Maj. April Cunningham said.”

In one article – we are told, it’ll be a couple of months. In another, “we aren’t sure” when. We hear it’s because of the computer system, the software, the amount of money, then it’s because there are too many people trying to get it, then it’s a “planned” outage, then it’s an emergency you can’t tell people about…. GET YOUR STORY STRAIGHT!

Have the common courtesy to tell us the truth!

Well, y’all… we are not going to put on our little white gloves, and our little pearls and go to the Wives Club meeting and forget the way you treated us. The FaceBook pages are getting more and more members, we clamoured loud enough that 60+ members of congress joined the Congressional Military Family Caucus and sent a letter of protest to the Secretary of Defense, more and more members of congress are holding hearings, getting groups together. If you had treated any other group the way you treated us, you’d be ducking for cover. Well, you might want to check that cover, we aren’t going away. You are going to learn that that level of disrespect will not be forgiven, will not be forgotten.

LAW

xposted at LeftFace

Say WHAT?

I'm told that this little blog made it into an article in Military Spouse Magazine. Since I didn't get mine yet, and I can't get on post until tomorrow - I'm just floored, flummoxed, dumbfounded, and pretty amazed! Can't wait to see it.

If you linked here from the magazine, welcome! Please read, please comment, or just say Hiya!

LAW

Terrorist or Hero - Martyr or Murderer

A person with a grudge, gripe or deep seated belief of some kind, whether justified or delusional, decides to “take action”. The person takes a vehicle, supplements fuel or adds explosives to said vehicle. The vehicle is directed, at a high rate of speed, into a building which is used by the entity against which this person has a grudge, or left sitting next to the building and remotely detonated. Innocent people are killed, wounded and traumatized. In Baghdad, or Bagram, Kandahar or Peshawar, they are called terrorists. What do we call them in Austin, Oklahoma City?

HOW does one call them hero? I can’t, for the life of me, understand that. To call Joe Stack a hero, to justify his flying that plane into the IRS building (just because he hated taxes and refused to pay them and had problems with the IRS) is unfathomable. How is he different from the terrorist in Peshawar who set off a car bomb outside a hospital emergency room as a followup to bombing a bus full of pilgrims? For one man, his religion became fanaticism, his hatred of anyone who didn’t believe exactly as he did, became a reason to murder, a justification of an act that killed, wounded and maimed innocent men, women and children. For another man, his distrust of government, his deep seated belief that taxes are unjust and he shouldn’t have to pay them, his ongoing battles with the IRS (and what most of us see as tax evasion and skipping out on his responsibilities as a citizen) became a justification for flying a plane into a building, with the clear intent to kill people.

To me – that’s just Murder. To hear someone say his actions were “inappropriate” – stunningly inadequate. And when I read that he has been called a martyr – gruesome. As gruesome as calling a truck bomber in Kabul a martyr.. these violent acts are not martyrdom. They are the selfish act of someone who doesn’t have the intelligence or the humanity to figure out that what they are doing is murder, pure and simple, murder.

XPOSTED at LEFTFACE

No words - just a picture

Well... a couple words - this was up in the Bike Shop we took the motorcycle to... unexpected place!

Presidents Day

And another day off... yes, I'm glad to be home, because the commuting is making me totally crazy. the VRE was running well on Friday (first day back at work) but the Metro - not so much. the office - um yeah, most of the secretaries didn't show up, but the rest of us struggled in.

We are buying out Ikea - book shelves, organizational stuff - Michaels for frames, Bed Bath for... well, bath and kitchen stuff... this continuing contribution to the economy is starting to be noticeable!! one more trip to Potomac Mills. Getting settled into a much larger space makes it so tempting to unpack ALL that stuff that has been in storage for so long. Now if I could just find the photo card reader to upload those pictures I took during the last storms!

have a good week, everyone.

LAW

Snowpocalypse - Snowmaggeddon - Sn**

We left Minnesota to get away from snow - we've laughed at the way DC closes down when it gets an inch of snow, and the hysteria from the media about impending storms. Well, y'all... they were right this time! Good Grief!

For the last week, it's been awful The train/VRE isn't running, Metro isn't running above ground, the roads are only partially cleared. The blame game is in full scream on mode - why aren't they able to run, able to do this/that/the other. I am thrilled to bits that we only had a very short power outage in the middle of the night once and those hard working folks at Dominion Power got us back up in a few hours.

Went to the grocery store between storms, did our usual shop, just a couple of days early, but as we were leaving, the hordes were descending and I'm sure it all became a mess and a place full of cranky people. The second storm is sleet/freezing rain/snow and then more of the same. We've been able to get out a bit, but the road in and out of the subdivision is a truly awful mess. Riding in ruts is ok until the center becomes so high it takes out the bottom of your car!

How the area will dig out of the second storm, I have no idea. We hear of snow plow trucks breaking down and the drivers are absolutely exhausted from trying to clear 2 feet of snow and put down chemicals before, during and after the first storm. Some folks haven't had power or heat in 4 days, that's a long time to be cold and dark.

We'll get through it, it won't be pretty, and Chief's back may need some massage and lots of Ranger Candy from all this shoveling, but we'll make it. Talk to you after this next storm.

LAW

and by the way - Facebook needs to get their act together, this "new" system sucks. badly.

LAW hits the Hill

Well, actually the Congressional Military Family Caucus Briefing on mental health issues.

First – don’t ever try to get into the Capital Visitor’s Center with food, water or knitting needles (even circulars) they make you throw them away. If you dislike TSA at the airport, you will detest the Capital Security police – they make the airport folks seem downright polite by comparison. Watching a cop scream at a tourist who obviously couldn’t read English (signage on door only in English) about opening the In door instead of the Out door, which set off an alarm… ridiculous. Welcome to the Nation’s Capital!

The change when I reached the room where the Caucus was held – amazing. Military supporters, and a lot of retired Brass- the kind with stars. I was frankly amazed when (not retired, and in full Blues) General Sutton came up and remembered meeting me at a function months before, she’s a great advocate for the mental health of military families. I have hope that some of the changes she is pushing for will happen and if it doesn’t, it won’t be for lack of enthusiasm on her part!

Kristy Kaufmann started the proceedings, as always telling it very much like it is! Running an FRG during deployment on cupcake sales – that really irked some very distinguished looking gentlemen I was sitting next to. They were pretty shocked when I told them that we couldn’t even sell those cupcakes to other units, just to our personnel. General, it really WAS that different when you were Active, wasn’t it! But Sir, we weren’t in two wars with a smaller military, dragging on for 8 years, back then. When Kristy showed us Peggy and Monique, and told us their stories, told us about Faye – those Army wives who just broke, who were so tired and so discouraged, that they ended it the only way they thought they could – that really hit the Congress people in the audience, and the rest of us. As the Rep from CA said, we won’t forget Peggy…

BG Sutton talked to us about the future plans for changes in how the mental health community is trying to assist both the serving military and families. I’m hoping that this is really going to happen, the availability of mental health counselors is limited! In OCONUS, we are hearing in one area that the counselor who is supposed to be handling special needs families, is also now tasked with PTSD cases and families as well!

The head of Tri-West - well he’s really got it. They are also partnering with the USO, to help those volunteers when they see someone needing an assist. When I chatted with him after the presentations, he first thanked me for my question – when I asked that they please please put counselors in place who at least spoke our language, who understood the military and how it works. All the degrees in the world don’t help when you are trying to talk to someone about how you are feeling and have to stop in the middle to translate terminology. Hearing from an AirForce spouse about the base civilian mental health worker who tells a pregnant young woman to go to the Company Command and demand that her husband come home from deployment for the birth of their child “because it’s her right and they have to do it”… oh, yeah, that really helped her, didn’t it???? I was told that there is training available, but that he was going to check that everyone is getting that! I told him that my experience with this was back in 2005-6, and he shared with me that they heard it a lot from those of us in the MN Guard who were using their services – we understood that they ramped those psychologists and counselors up in a matter of a couple of weeks when the extension happened, but he apologized so often, I almost felt bad for bringing it up!

The American Red Cross talked to us about the training they are giving their volunteers, the great Give an Hour partnership – there’s something we need to do some research on for our readers, and I promise I will. Any of you who have used this, let us know, ok?

Afterwards, a lot of talking, a lot of connecting, and questions from the TriWest reps about what do we need, ON THE GROUND. Kristy kept saying it, and I think and hope it got through, this is something that we need at the unit level. The top down approach – isn’t going to cut it!

If you haven’t joined the caucus on their Facebook page, do it. I know they are hoping for more conversations with and by US, the military families they want to assist. It’s a great way to connect, let’s help educate those who need to know what our real lives are like.

xposted on LeftFace

On The RAAAAAdio

I'm hijacking this from LawyerMama... thanks, LM! I'm gonna be on the radio today. Little nervous, but hey, I'm talking about something I care about, milspouses and trying to find jobs as a milspouse.

Join me for a blog radio program with Fem 2.0 on Wednesday, April 3rd at 1pm. For the last two weeks, Fem 2.0 has been getting into the nitty gritty of balancing work and family. This week, they're tackling an often forgotten class of women: the military spouse.

Join host Katie Stanton, Director of New Media for Blue Star Families, Stephanie Himel-Nelson, blogger Liberal Army Wife, and the President of the National Research Center for Women and Families, Diana Zuckerman for the program Work/Life and the Military: What It’s Really Like to Work and Serve.

From the Fem 2.0 website:

Military families are just like other families. Soldiers and their spouses are often are dealing with same work/life issues as everyone else, like wage gaps, caregiving, sick leave and more. But imagine dealing with these issues when you and/or your spouse are stationed overseas and serving in often dangerous situations for months or years at a time. Imagine being separated from your loved ones and still being expected to handle the day-to-day. Imagine being uprooted with little to no warning and moving to an unknown city or country, over and over again, and still having to provide for yourself and your family. Three experts who are passionate about military families and the difficulties they face will tell the whole story on what life is really like, how this kind of living affects men, women and children, and what can be done to help.

You can listen to the program Work/Life and the Military: What It’s Really Like to Work and Serve and join the chat. We'll be taking questions via Talk Shoe and Twitter at the end of the program. To participate via Twitter, simply tweet your question and end with the hastag #fem2 or #worklife. You can read more about how to participate on the program website.

Wish me luck!

moved in - sort of....

It's been a while, huh... we moved in. and life kinda went weird for a while. Work has sucked, and I'm not figuring it will improve. But - "it is what it is". The move itself - the movers were great - "Two Marines and a Truck" vet owned company that only hires vets. I Like that! it took a full day, and the boxes were everywhere. Chief has been on leave and took on the rest of the move. The cleaning crew did the apartment cleaning. We need some furniture, the desk for Chief and other office furniture, a love seat and chair for the den, a dining room table, a dresser.... but staying with the plan, getting the desk and office stuff soon, the rest isn't urgent.

The new bed arrived, very comfortable and big! unfortunately, as the days went on, the smell of mildew got very strong, we thought at first it was a comforter that had been bagged up, then maybe the new mattress pad. Washing didn't help. Then, we tried baking soda on the mattress and left it for a day - vacuumed... and nothing. It's only getting stronger. We are trying to get hold of the store, but that damned snowstorm yesterday shut the place down. Now I know why the cat hasn't been willing to sleep on the new bed. Last night we used the old one, that's in the spare room. Cat curled up where he always sleeps...

It snowed like crazy yesterday - they told us it would be a dusting... hah. And guess what - we never did buy a snow shovel! Hopefully we can get out and buy one today.

so - more boxes to unpack. Later!

LAW

Day 14 - Back to the familiar

The Picture - to understand why I call it the familiar - we built our own house back in the Frozen Tundra - took us 18 months with working paying jobs and all that... so to see Chief with tools/level/on ladder - familiar!

went to work today - another 10 hour day... wish I could say it was worth it, but it wasn't. Not enjoying what I do, where I do it, and for whom. Does it make a difference in anyone's life? nope. It pays the mortgage on the aforesaid house. That's all.

Packers coming... no, not completely ready for them, since we ran out of boxes. so they'll be moving stuff, I'll be packing, cat will be in bathroom. he's stressing already, I can tell he's really upset, so it'll be a hard day for him today. Me, I just want this over.

have a safe and pleasant day... those of you in Massachusetts, my sympathies and my disappointment are boundless. What were you THINKING??????

LAW

Day 13 - or how we spend a long weekend

Taping, taping, Painting, cleaning, packing. The owner finally got the carpets cleaned, on Saturday! he's had two weeks - picks our first painting day... so we packed, took down curtains at the apartment (taking anchors out of greenboard walls - sucks!) spackling, packing... did I mention packing?

The picture? well, the bedroom isn't going to be cafe au lait. It's rising sun warm yellow, like the living room and den, because I'm so sick of trying to find the colour! every time I think I have it, we put a little on the wall from the sample pot... and let's see, it's either babyshitbrown, or pink. neither of which is acceptable. So a little more painting today, some closet rod putting up.. then more... wait for it......................packing! Trying to get the entire kitchen moved before the movers come. yes, makes no sense, but I really hate trying to find where something was stowed. Tucker? sound familiar??

Finding some strange quirks in the house - I could NOT for the life of me figure out what this funny sound was, then I realized. It was tipping rain, over an inch yesterday... It was the sump pump circulating on.. running for a minute.. then off. So, THAT works. The big question remains - what will the cat think of the new digs? We move in 2 days, I'll let you know!

LAW

Day 12

Day 12

Chief's Xmas/Anniversary present: Weber Charcoal Grille with Gas starter, attached table and bin for charcoal.

Back to normal life...

Ok.. not Normal in the sense most people understand, but normal for us! After a lovely day off, spent showing him the new townhouse, buying a king size mattress, and a wine bar/rack (it was less than 1/2 price!!) and driving around our new neighbourhood, finding the disc golf course, the regular golf course, the trails and the Sikh temple, I went back to work, husband checked into the unit and then went to the commissary... only one call asking if I could think of anything else we needed. THERE is the great change. Pick up the phone and talk to each other! So so wonderful.

Day 11 - my present! the box is carved Camel bone (I collect little boxes.. this one is pretty cool) The ring and earrings, from our lovely trip to Ireland.

Day 12 - the scarf. For a friend. Sis, sending today!



Have a wonderful day.

LAW

Home.

So.. I'm at work, and the cell phone rings... and it's Chief. Who tells me he's on the way to the airport... he'll be home tonight! This is superbly wonderful news.. but.... the apartment is a wreck, I didn't change the sheets, my schedule is thrown all out of whack here! What to do... take off work an hour early, tell the attorneys they'll have to work it out themselves, I'm gone tomorrow. Dash home (well, Metro doesn't dash, but you know what I mean) change the sheets, run the hoover, etc etc.. Go to the airport - wait, wait, wait, wait (turns out the pilot messed up and had to go round again..) and then - there he was. 361 days. done. another one over. whew.

Lobstah Roll call

Some folks probably think I've lost the little bit of mind I have left... how do you call on a lobstah roll? That, I don't know, but to us the lobstah roll call means he got to Bangor Maine, met the same superb folks The Maine Greeters, made the call to me sitting in the parking lot after having his lobstah roll and smoking his first CONUS cigar. He's at a Camp Swampy kinda place now, outprocessing. So... let's hope for Tuesday or Wednesday!



The Picture today - choices, choices, choices...

I had a pretty good day - went to the Commissary - couldn't figure out why it was so crazy busy - ah ha.. Guard Drill weekend, and everyone coming in to do their monthly shop. I just realized I forgot the non sugar sweetner he uses....

Packed (surprise) then went to a store to pick up something special, friends came to help me and took it to the new place for me. wish I could tell you more.. but he sometimes reads this and don't want to ruin the surprise.

Need to clean the apartment - vacuum 'round the boxes!

LAW

cleaning a kitchen

I wish the previous tenant had done more than a cursory wipe of the counters. Yesterday was a glorious day outside- sunny but windy, so I was glad to be inside, in the new place with lots of sunshine flooding in. The owner was there doing paint touch up - builders white, ugh! I cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned. Three hours on the kitchen! still can't get all that sticky off the bottom shelves and drawers. LARGE bottle of goof off purchased, I'll spend some time today doing that.

Heard from Chief - wheels going up. Where he is now... dunno.

Was going to go to the commissary yesterday afternoon, drove by - they were parking on the street, the entire parking lot was jammed.. so I'll be heading there this morning. Going to be a busy busy day again. Can't wait for the end of the month. Husband home, moved into a new place, the old place cleaned - and maybe a chance to just sit around in my jamies and watch TV with the cat in my lap. sigh... heaven.

Take care everyone, enjoy your Sunday.

LAW

Again - with the packing...

It's got to be some kind of osmosis or thought transference. The man ONLY calls when I'm in the elevator or somewhere else that TMobile doesn't get coverage in my building!!! sigh. Today - I'm home or at the new place - get great coverage there. hopefully he'll call again.

Spent a fascinating evening at Home Depot, getting paint samples. Now, to understand why I actually enjoy the Orange Box, you need to know that I used to work for them, as a kitchen designer. When we were building the house in MN, when we were planning it, we spent more time in HD than anywhere else on weekends! So I still love it (except the plumbing aisle, the one with the rough in plumbing connectors etc.) Restocking that aisle is a miserable experience. The Paint chips - do you KNOW how many shades of white/pale there are? and really - the names of the paint - SRSLY, Somber Stone? Cinnamon Sunset? hm. I'll be taking them over to the new place today, and hoping that the owner will help me pay for the paint in a couple of the rooms. Builders White - it's cold and not what we prefer to live in.

The Day 7 picture - this is how you bring home boxes from the office when you are riding the Metro. LOVE the IKEA bag, carries so much STUFF. It also is the reason for lots and lots of packing tape! the big IKEA sale is this weekend... but I'm staying away. I just cannot figure out everything we are going to need in the house! the Bed Bath 20% coupons - love them too!

Off to clean/pack/move etc... Talk to you tomorrow.

Day Six - packing...

packing, packing... ugh. the apartment is filling up with boxes, with no where to put them. Poor Chief, when he gets back, it's gonna be "hi sweetie (kiss kiss) here's the tape, close that box, and hey, change outa those ACUs, put the painting clothes on, let's go!"

I've been waiting for a call from him for 3 days, since he doesn't have computer access anymore... and when does he call? when I'm in the elevator with no coverage! arrgh. but this time, he did call back. All is well. going smoothly. Yeah, the whole "don't say anything, OPSEC stuff" does get old, doesn't it?

Went to the new place last night, to pull off the really gross contak paper lining in the drawers and bottom shelf of the cabs. and look what was waiting at the front door. Yeah! getting closer... Forgot the GooGone, and scissors to cut the new shelf liner, but will do that tonight. taking some of the cookie sheets, and small appliances over tonight. This weekend is going to be sooooo busy.

We have a dusting of snow here, and schools are late/closing. jeez. talked to some folks in Wisconsin yesterday, Blizzard is Howling and they are still carrying on. I'm just so so so glad I'm not in Minnesota this winter. The last time we had a really snowy winter, I think I spent more time shoveling, digging out, and trying to keep a wood burner going, than I did anything else. not fun.

So, y'all, have a good Friday. Don't forget, wear red today!

LAW

Winter in DC - 365/Day5

The picture - a burst pipe on the second floor of the Springfield Metro station parking ramp. water/ice/frozen cars, this was my morning wake up yesterday. GOOD MORNING, it's DC, and it's COLD. It's been cold here, abnormally cold here. My folks in Florida are suffering from the cold - they aren't use to 20s! Oh, perfect, just turned on the news - snow in our forecast. This town doesn't do snow really well. Matter of fact, it's lousy at it!

This apartment is, I think, making me ill. If I'm here for a long time (about 8 hours will do it), I get the feeling I'm getting the flu, and the migraines are starting up again. Betcha it's mold again. So there's one reason to stay at work, and to go to the new place a lot. Mold is one reason I'm worried about some black stains on the carpet at the new place - reminds me, I must must must call the realtor again - but work has been INSANE.

Plans - in flux. Chief is closer to coming home, and then it's going to be crazy crazy for a few weeks while we move. work is getting intense, lots of projects due. sigh. wish they'd spread out a little! In the area of a good thing, I found out my department head really does have my back - which is a great feeling! Got so many political posts I want to write - but that'll have to wait.

Talk to you later, y'all!

LAW