Friday, November 06, 2009

How do we fathom this?

One of ours, an officer in uniform - killed his fellow soldiers, wounded more, and left us with so many questions.

This week went from the high of the MSRRA victory and the celebration of a job well done, the camaraderie of working together and knowing we made a difference. To the lowest low at Fort Hood, when our military family was stunned and angered by the wanton slaying; by someone who was supposed to be helping his fellow man, to be counseling the sad and confused, to be a guide for those who had lost their way in their minds.

Why did he do this? I hope we eventually find out why. The military spouse, Sgt. Kimberly Munley, the hero who stopped the murders, did us such a huge favour in NOT killing him. He's alive to answer all these questions; because until we know WHY someone does this, we can't know what we need to look for, what warning signs should send up those red flags? We cannot continue to say it MIGHT BE, it COULD BE, or MAYBE it's his religion, or his stress or not wanting to deploy, or anything else. We need to KNOW why.

All of us in the milspouse world know at least one person who has been there, is going there, or is there now. It hurts. Being on post is supposed to be safe, it's home, it's where they understand our language, where we can read the uniform and know who that is. It's the known, no matter where we end up in the world, Post/Base, is the same. There's the PX, there's the Commissary, there's HQ, there's the unit, the orderly room, the theatre where you stand for the national anthem, the flagpole where you face when retreat is sounded. Whether it's AFSOUTH, or Belvoir, Bragg or Quantico, it's home. It's not supposed to be dangerous; it's not supposed to be scary.

During the moment of silence, my boss called me. And when I told him that I'd get back to him, it was the moment of silence, he had no idea what I was talking about. I was angry at first, then realized, he's just not one of us. I missed my military family today, being in the civilian world. I wanted to run on post, to people who understood. But my online family members, the women (and a couple of guys), who are grieving too, were there. Maybe my new "post" is on my screen? But it still doesn't feel safe.



Airborne dad said...

It is unfathomable on so many levels. Gayle and I watched in stunned silence Thursday, each minute more unbelievable than the first.

SGT Mark agrees with you: he is glad Hasan did not die. Answers are needed.

Anonymous said...

I agree. I feel like our safe place has been violated a bit. It's still a safe haven of comfort, but it hurts to think that has been shattered for families at Ft. Hood. I hope Hasan has some kind of explanation for what he did. It won't make it right, but at least we'll know why this tragedy happened.