Sunday, November 01, 2009

Cleaning the Clutter

Last week, I was bruised by another one of the nasty little exchanges on Facebook between myself and former friends. What that was about - I'll write about later. Suffice it to say, their stance is that if you are a "true" military spouse and troop supporter, you can't be a liberal or a democrat. It hurt, it really did, and I wasted a lot of time being angry, hurt, allowing it to fester. Today - I was going through my blog list and reading, and went to a site where this blather is reiterated ad nauseum. I've read this blog for about 3 years or so. Today - I deleted the bookmark. Doesn't sound like much, but for me it was a step. I keep wanting their approval, their understanding that, like them, I AM a military spouse, a troop supporter, but think about certain things differently. And I'm done with it. They don't like me, fine. They think I'm a traitor, a Sheeple for voting the way I did, that's THEIR opinion. They are wrong to think that way, but trying to change their narrow little minds, is not going to happen. I honour them, a couple of them have established a superb charity for the wounded, they work incredibly hard, they have husbands and children in the service and tirelessly support them and their chosen careers. Their political views seem to me to be completely wrong, but I don't think that makes them any worse or any better as military supporters. Guess that's just me, huh?



The Army Wife said...

It's not just you. It's all of *us* ... you know the ones that aren't *true* military spouses because we vote to the left. That has been my BIGGEST issue living in a military town. I vote one way, so therefore I have "NO RIGHT" (as I was once told) to be a military spouse. Last I checked my husband was still in the Army, and I'm still here supporting him. I didn't run at the sight of the first deployment.

I say fuck them. I know it's easier said than done, to cut those people out of your life than to actually DO it. I want their approval just as much as you do. But, don't forget that you have a lot of us here who love you just the way you are. Who love you BECAUSE Of who you are. And who don't care how you vote or why you believe the things that you do. You are a rockstar. Let them be naive and ignorant and closed-minded. They aren't worth the effort that we put into seeking their friendship.

Love ya! :)

Samantha the ArmyWife said...

I recieved similar adversity while Bush was in office. People would tell me that you can't support the troops if you didn't support the "commander in chief". huh? Guess what narrow-minded right I am living freaking proof that you can! BC you can't tell me what I do and don't support. SHOVE it! Funny how the same logic doesn't apply now with a Democratic president. Those who didn't vote for Obama and don't support his administration can't also be supportive of our military. Just doesn't work in reverse... I guess? I have never been able to follow 'their' logic. Odd.

I think people should agree to disagree.

Michelle said...

there are so many of us in that situation and I've also done the "clutter" clean up. I don't need someone to tell me that I'm less a military wife because I vote the way I do. It isn't fair, and it certainly isn't right.

So I wish there were MORE blogs like yours because I think we're far under represented and I think we often stay quiet for fear of what will happen if we speak out. I don't think we can allow ourselves to be pushed to the side and told we are wrong.

Anonymous said...

I think you're awesome and the way you vote doesn't change what Chief does for a living. It doesn't make your heart less compassionate for those in uniform. The way you vote didn't keep us - and lots of other peeps - from forming friendships with you. I'm proud to have you on my side and someone with a side of snark might say it reminds them that they voted the correct way *cough, cough* (just kidding)

You're an amazing woman with a spirit unmatched by many. I'm proud to have met you and I only wish it hasn't been so long since I've seen you and I'm keeping my fingers crossed our paths will cross again.

Oh, and if being a fan of yours isn't enough of a reason for the haters to hate me, I'll give them another asinine reason...I have towels I won't even let guests touch. Take.That.Jackazzes.

Lots of love from my little piece of the internets to yours.

Bridget said...

I am not a military wife, so maybe I shouldn't even be commenting. But I am SO tired of those who follow blindly criticizing anyone who decides for themselves about anything these days, I could scream.

I think sometimes it's harder to forget about those individuals and move on than it is to let them keep on making you feel frustrated. Good for you for taking the high road while maintaining your own sanity.

jb said...

Argh! I go through this all the time. While I respect that the wives have their beliefs, I so often feel that they judge mine. Sister, I am hardcore liberal and a loving army wife and the haters just make us stronger. We are changing the culture for the better. Stay strong and move forward! We are doing important, albeit sometimes lonely work.

Anonymous said...

Sure it's easier to go with the flow, but damn, it's a lot less interesting. Rock on with yourself - we love you!!!

Ann M. said...

I don't see how the same people who complained that Bush was so disrespected are now the ones doing the criticizing of the new president. That just doesn't make any sense to me. I also don't see how Republicans can have a monopoly on troop support.

I'm glad you got rid of the link. You don't need to continue wasting your time listening to people tell you how "wrong" your opinion is just because it doesn't agree with theirs.

Bette said...

Decluttering is healthy, I think. I've done some of my own recently, albeit not for political reasons.

If there's one positive thing about this deployment, it's that it has separated my keeper friends from the deadwood. And it's bonfire time, baby.

Anonymous said...

"I don't see how the same people who complained that Bush was so disrespected are now the ones doing the criticizing of the new president. That just doesn't make any sense to me. I also don't see how Republicans can have a monopoly on troop support."

This about sums up my feelings. I had to remove myself from military wife forum for bringing this blaring hypocrisy to the light. Of course, there is always an excuse, "Democrats bashed Bush!" Well then, lets all shift our principles and morals when The Other Side screws up. That'll show 'em.*rolls eyes*

Anyway, I used to be a superlib, then I shifted more to moderate, and now I'm just out of it altogether. I identify myself as Libertarian and everything that falls into that little box. I love your site, though.

Marine Wife said...

Over the years, I've found myself biting my tongue so often I was afraid I'd bite it off! It's assumed that we're all the same with similar views. But we're not. Hang in there. You are not alone!

larryirun said...

As someone who served in the military for over 20 years and has always considered himself a Liberal, I would like to commend you on this blog. It is so unfortunate that so many Americans today consider the word "liberal" a slur. I often mention to these narrow minded people that there actually WAS a Liberal wing of the Republican party not that long ago! In New York for example, senator Jacob Javitts appeared on both the Republican and Liberal party lines.
Stick to your convictions and remember you are NOT alone in your thinking.