Yesterday was one of those awful days - you just want to forget it happened. But in this life, we don't get to do that. DH was supposed to be flying through an airport near here, so we could say a proper goodbye. Then he called, and said he wasn't, that they were flying through another airport, and we tried to say our goodbyes on the phone. When he went down to the training area last weekend (and he has a LOT to say about the horrendous waste of time that was) we said "see ya" - and now I feel oddly as if we never really said it, as if the sentence never got the full stop, as if the chapter has no proper conclusion. Does that make any sense?
The folks at work - clueless, completely clueless, and since they don't understand, they are distant and almost brusque. I don't want pity, maybe some sympathy for how I was feeling would have been nice - I got "oh well, it's probably better this way"... huh? how does that compute? it's better to not tell him goodbye, to tell him to be careful, to kiss him and hold on for just one more second? But then, they equate this with a week's fishing trip!
Then Kimba IMed and asked me how I was. I told her - and in minutes, we had a 4 person chat going on, with Bette, Lopsided Mom, Kimba and me. - and they understood. I could handle it better, when I said I felt numb - they understood. When I said I should plan my meltdown - they understood. And they made me smile, and laugh, because they understood.
The BSF4O women who I was talking to about the upcoming party (a different post about that later), they understood. That's when I realized, that it is important, that I have some friends who have been there, done that, got the Tshirts and hats and coffee mugs.. and that understand.
Thank you so much for being there, and understanding.