I GIVE UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All day, the Rightwing has been spewing forth - deciding that SecDef (who is A REPUBLICAN, APPOINTED BY BUSH! and was held over because in a time of war, you don't switch horses)has "lost his cojones" and is betraying the soldiers because of his decision.

DAMMIT can you people fucking READ??? the transcript very clearly says - if one of the families objects, there WILL BE NO MEDIA. How much simpler does it have to get? Did you miss English comprehension in school? So you say NO when asked. If you have the brains of a fleas ass, you have made all these decisions before your soldier deployed. Write it down, cause you might forget it. and then MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING DECISION!

For the last umpteen years, we have been hearing Less Government Control over us.. So now we are given choice - Less Guvmint... and now you don't like it. What the fucking hell DO you want?

LAW

Decision Made.

Secretary Gates has made his decision. Today he announced that the decision as to whether to allow the media to be at Dover AFB and take pictures when a fallen service member is returned home, is to be decided by the family. And since then, some of the comments I have read are both ridiculous, insulting and "Just plain ignorant". I need to know this - if this is MY husband or son, why am I going to leave something like this to the government? This is MY family, not theirs, not yours, it's MINE. Less Government - hmmm. who does THAT sound like???

Secretary Gates (and may we gently point out that he was appointed by the last Republican Administration) wanted to overturn this last year, before the election, but was dissuaded. Why, we don't really know. Me, what do I think SecDef was thinking ? I think he realized that hiding the true cost of the wars, was not the right way to treat our fallen. That if you are going to show the farewells with all the flags flying and the bands playing and the tears of the families as they say goodbye, you damned well should give those families the option to show the final farewells. You cannot just use us when you want to do the heartstrings stirring, flag waving, patriotic speech. You better be there when we are paying that last sacrifice.

When you show the homecomings with the joy and bands and yellow ribbons, you don't show what happens later, the tears and the getting to know our marriage again. THERE'S the scandal, THERE'S the insult to our troops. Show it ALL or show NONE.

This decision is one small private bit of our lives. And yes, I'm sure it's going to end up with a form, and there will be battles between the family members, and this might even make some people (ahem... yeah, you know who you are) make a decision, or at least have some input into this horrible part of planning for the future that we have to do every time our soldier deploys (YES, I know, I said soldier... I'm Army... you know I mean service member, but I'm sick of using that!)

What would I do? I don't know. I really don't . I find the photograph that was used by Military.com, which is above, to be a quietly moving photograph. I don't know these fallen, I do know that they are loved and honored. The Guard of Honor around them are taking them home, and they are not alone.

LAW

Views of another Milspouse

I couldn't say this as well... She's a damned good writer and says what so many of us are thinking. . Go here.

LAW

Valentines Day - a cat story

Spending Valentines Day at Petsmart doing a cat adoption fair was a way to not miss Chief (I'm gonna call him that, instead of DH) too much. It was a nice enough fair, some sweet new cats rescued from a high kill shelter who snuggled up together and tried to avoid seeing all the people looking at them.

An older couple asked me for some assistance, could they meet one or both of the calico cats we had in the permanent cages. Molly aka Jabba the Hut, didn't want to say hi, it was 3 hours into the fair and she was pooped. Then - I saw love just happen. I opened Daisy's cage, she was curled up taking a nap. She looked up, then got up and stretched. The lady began to pet her, found that little spot behind the ear... right..... there... Then Daisy did what I hadn't seen her do before. she reached out, and walked into the lady's arms, laid her head on her shoulder, and that was it. Daisy adopted her. The gentleman with her put his hand on Daisy's head and she did that little push - and purred. We talked for a moment, while Daisy cuddled. Then I put her back in, and the lady filled out forms, the gentleman went to get the carrier they used to have for the cat they had had for over 15 years, that they lost a few months ago. And they went home - as she said to me, what a perfect Valentine's present - unconditional love.

So even though I didn't get to see Chief, or even talk to him other than email - I got to see the real thing, not the cheesy "you have to buy THIS to show him you love him".. the real thing. It was a great Valentines Day!

LAW

Pictures, Coffins and Families

As you may have read, the Secretary of Defense is reviewing the policy of taking photographs of coffins of the recently fallen soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan arriving at Dover AFB. This is one of those subjects that makes those of us who have family members serving - think, twitch and wonder what would we do.

As Andi on SpouseBuzz said - we plan funerals, in our heads. Yes, I've planned DH's, (with no help from him, other than a request for Dixie played by bagpipes). And I haven't thought about the media, other than to hope they will show some respect. That, unfortunately, isn't what has happened at many funerals. I went to nine funerals last deployment, and the media held back - it could have been that Midwestern reticence, but I'll figure it was the Patriot Guard!

So how do I feel about it? I don't honestly know. I've read other blogs about it, I've always thought that maybe the other 99% of the US population should see the true cost of the war; not just the money, but the lives - the lives lost, the lives shattered, the lives of the children losing a parent, the lives of the friends who mourn. But those same families and friends have the right to mourn in private, to survive the pain without cameras in their faces.

How do I feel? Confused. I know that I understand the families' point of view that don't want the pictures taken, I know I understand those that say these coffins, when they arrive, don't have names on them that can be seen by photographers, that no-one is saying that they want to take pictures of widows and parents receiving the coffins, but is this the slippery slope we hear so much about? If we allow a photograph of a coffin on a plane floor, does that mean we will allow a picture of a woman kissing the coffin, of a child hugging the coffin holding her daddy?

And I want Secretary Gates to ask us. Not the Generals, not the under secretary of whatever, ask us. We are the ones who this will affect, we are the ones who live with this possibility. Please, tell me what you think.

LAW

Let's hear it for the old dawgs

a 10 year old Sussex spaniel won Westminster... that's a 70 year old winning the biggest, baddest, dog beauty pageant on this side of the pond. Whoot!

LAW

Suicide from Salon.com

A very thoughtful series - and what is very chilling to me - I remember Fort Carson being singled out a few years ago- for exactly this. I have a friend there - I keep her in my thoughts, that her husband's unit isn't full of morons who don't understand what PTSD really is.

Our son has PTSD, and so does our daughter in law. They have been dealing with the VA for years, his appeal went through but they are STILL waiting on hers.... and the way the VA deals with the veterans is truly horrendous in it's complexity! In this day and age, to have the DOD and VA unable to coordinate their computer systems... it's a disgrace.

LAW

Busy Busy Busy

Which is good, because if I have too much time on my hands, I get cranky. Sunday I WAS cranky, I woke up with one of those migraines that leave me helpless. I took one of my super pills and went back to sleep. The entire day, shot in the ass. and I wanted to go and help at the adoption fair at the cat shelter. Oh well, next time.

Work - ok, you have to be proud of my control, I didn't shove the idiot out the window. Close, but I didn't. Of course, I have all of his stupidity saved - he makes the mistake of emailing me his idiocy. so when it rears up and bites him on the ass - I can prove it WAS his idea.

Parent's Zone is rebuilding.. we have some new authors and will be working on a few new projects, including one on Daughters in law and Mothers in law - deployments/R&R etc.

LAW