Tuesday, June 19, 2007

"suck it up"

If I hear THAT expression again, from a military spouse no less, I'll pop a bolt. Just pisses me off. she got pissed because I said that we didn't deserve the nastiness and anger that a soldier dished out to us on Spouse Buzz. I mentioned we were the spouses at home, keeping our families together and "scared lonely and frightened". She maintained that we shouldn't be any of those things, after all we married the military etc etc.

I have had some support.. which is nice. I just don't get why that offended her! Let's see: been alone with the cat and the dog for 20+ months - ok, I think lonely would be a good description. Let's see - DH is in a country that isn't very happy or welcoming to him, sends little presents like mortars... I've been to 9 Brigade funerals, and believe it or not, I READ the news... so scared ... yeah. think so.

Frightened? yeah, the thought of being alone longer, or something happening to DH.. yeah, that's frightening.

so ya know what, lady - take that flagpole you are attempting to run yourself up, and cram it.... SIDEWAYS! I've been sucking it up for an awfully long time now, and when you hit my level, then YOU suck it up.

LAW

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

What post/thread was this?? I missed it. I'd like to chime in and chew some a$$. It certainly is scary, lonely and frightening. Made even more lonely because so few people 'get it'. Hang in there. Big hugs from Iowa.
Dusty

Laura said...

Marrying the military doesn't mean that you turn into an emotionless automaton. What did that fool want? All military spouses to become Stepford Wives or Husbands?

Susan said...

You're still a person, for crying out loud. You'd be some freak if you didn't feel those things. You go ahead and feel them. Go ahead and let the world know. That just burns me up. Crazy @ssed people. I'm sorry you got chewed out for having emotion and for giving a damn about your dh.

liberal army wife said...

yeah... stepford x barbie... scary!

LAW

Butterfly Wife said...

Hmmm. I think that shows a lot about HER and what mechanisms SHE uses to cope with military life. Denial, for one. Hopefully, it was just a temporary lapse in judgment or something.

Kim said...

I have heard that one a LOT. That, and "You married someone in the military, what did you expect?" - and I have ceased to talk to anyone with this attitude about anything regarding how I am doing or how the deployment is going. That door is shut.

I am with you!! And I'd love to see the comment that started this. Link?

Sgt. L's Wife said...

Some people are just carriers of the jackazz gene and it amazes me how they fumble through life without getting their eyes poked out.

Cheeky said...

What an idiot! Yes, you married the military, but you also have every right to feel every emotion you are feeling and then some. That is the meaning of sacrifice. That is what our service men/women and their spouses are doing.

kayli_k42 said...

Nice to meet you too! I too am not a fan of hearing "suck it up" some people just have no clue! Thanks for stopping by. :o]

the108 said...

I have no idea how I found your blog but I will have to come back often to visit. I'm an Army wife and a liberal and it is so difficult to listen to all the bullshit. I hear "suck it up" allll the time as well every single time I complain about the military although I believe that verbalizing the problems are the first step to making changes.

Love your blog... will be back!!!

Josie said...

Ignore the person who has the nerve to say something so stupid. But, rejoice in the fact that she allowed you to feel, if only for a minute, something other than "scared, lonely, and frightened." Who says anger isn't a good emotion? Anything beats thinking about the long ass deployment.

I'm so glad the men are coming home. Nobody else needs to be put in the situation our family is in. We are hoping to be in MN for the return. What an emotional moment for all involved. Chin up. It's almost here. :)

Dayngr said...

Amen sister! I hate that expression anyway from everyone. I also hate good to go but that's just me.

Kristen said...

Nothing irks me more than when someone says "You know what you were getting into."

You don't know until you know.

And even when you do know, it doesn't make it any easier.

I love it when people tell you to suck it up as a person waiting for a lover TO SURVIVE, but those same people will go home and complain about how irritated they are that the guy in the next cubicle took their parking spot after lunch.

Suck it up.

:)

Anonymous said...

I'm with Sergeant L's wife.

Been there, done this as a kid, even answered the door and had to read the telegram (wounded, not dead) as Mom was too frozen to do it.

Then I did it to my family as a soldier for over 20 years.

You needa cluebat for people like that.

John of Argghhh!

Glo said...

I don't like to be told to "suck it" up either. This always seem to come from someone who has never been through it.(my sister -in- law for one). My husband always "Thanks" me for all I did while he was gone and how proud he is of me. I was here alone........I had total hip replacement while he was in Iraq and I still kept the home fires burning. I'm 64 and my Mike is 42 oh yes that 22 yrs.diff. We been married 19 yrs.
I started the "Your are W.O.M.A.N. and Army.......HOOAH!!!" it always seemed to be a good laugh for all of us. Or I'm the HOOAH mama. I was older than all the gal I meet,so they were like my daughters.
Thanks for stoping by my blog. My guy is now retired from the Army National Guard after 23 1/2yrs of service.
GOd bless,
Glo

Sarge Charlie said...

Thanks for your post, it gives me insight into what my wife experienced through my 26 years, including two trips to Vietnam. Today we enjoy the fruits of that labor, at least I can offer that hope.....

imdougandirule said...

I hope your DH comes back to you soon - safe and sound.

Non-Essential Equipment said...

Damn, I missed this, too.

Yes, we made a choice to marry into the military. This is true. But we also make a daily choice on how to handle it -- either with honesty and integrity or denial and nastiness.

Cooks on the Coast said...

Okay, I totally missed that on Spousebuzz. And I completely agree with kristen above. "Suck it up" indeed. As for knowing what you're getting into... no, you don't, you just think you do. It's a little like parenthood that way. People can tell you until they're blue in the face, but until you actually experience it...

Anonymous said...

LAW,
Whoever told you to "suck it up" is in the wrong.
I didn't see that comment thread either.

Of course it's lonely and of course it's scary to have your husband deployed to a combat zone. Cripes!!

I would say that those who've walked even half a mile in your shoes knows that.
Those that have, don't say "suck it up". They empathize.
Semper Fi Wife