My friend Tucker (if you haven't gone to her site, get your butt over there) talked about Suckyville. Thats the place that all deployments get to - and it is just miserable. I hit the outskirts of town last week, and this week I think I hit downtown Suckyville.
I'm tired - tired of being alone, tired of taking care of everything. When the house was broken into and vandalized, the whole who will fix it, trying to get it cleaned up so we can list it, dealing with the insurance company, was added to the regular crap, and piling on my OCD problem with making reservations for our upcoming R&R... it's all just sitting on my head and driving me batshit. I have a tendency to want to have it all perfect and did too much research on hotels in Edinburgh and Dublin, worrying that I'm spending too much - did I get somewhere nice and clean and quiet? did I get some horrid place that will stink of old cabbage with a disco across the way? I read reviews like crazy - like I said, I went nuts.
Now the whole "rent the house, don't rent the house" decision has to be made, are these prospective renters a nice couple or some meth head bunch who will trash the house some more?
And I don't have the husband to turn to and say "what do YOU think?" He just says he trusts me and my decisions... and I don't trust my own decisions.
Work - that's another FUBAR problem, with an attorney with a severe case of ADHD who is getting ready for vacation - so you can imagine how much time he's spending on anything I need to have done/answered.
Waah, waah waah. I sound like an absolute IDIOT - there are so many people have a worse time, and I'm making my own problems. and I Know It. but for some reason, I cannot dig out of this pit right now. So I think I'll wallow for a while (with visions of baby hefelumps in the mud making me smile) and I hope like hell I can see the other side soon.
OK, grump post over.
LAW
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9 comments:
Not having the ability to pick up the phone or go into the next room and ask a quick question...it's the little stuff that builds up.
Other people having it worse doesn't negate your own suckiness. Just play with the baby hefelumps until you get to the other side. In the meantime, you know where to find sympathetic ears.
Oh Sweetie- I hear you and I'll be glad to keep you company while you are in town! You don't sound like an idiot at all, just someone who is tired of doing it all on her own... and we ALL understand that. It isn't easy and it isn't fun and I know I don't like being the one to make all the decisions either... I wish I could make it better, but just know that I'm here with you, and just a call away! Take care and I hope the venting made it a teensey bit better!
Here's to the other side... but take as long as you need to get there, okay?
oh yes, I know Suckyville well. We all get there... Speaking of which I have about a 1000 things to accomplish today- guess I should get started? ugh.. I don't wanna! Wait.. but there no one else to do it. OFF I GO!
Nothing worth-while to say except (hugs).
When you're extra stressed, pop a cold ESB and google images of Dublin and Edinburgh and daydream about a lovely trip with your sweetheart.
Ugh. Deployments suck. I hope you are able to get things figured out, for your sanity. There's no easy way to get through a deployment, even when there aren't major life changes happening, and you have those! -- so I'm feeling for you!
I agree that just because other people have it worse doesn't mean you can't be bummed out about your current stress level/situation.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and remind yourself that you are an intelligent and resourceful woman. The decisions you're making now are being made with the best information that you have available, and that's all you can do. Chief's got faith in you, you need to have it for yourself.
If and when you have time you are more than welcome to take a break and come here for some baby love! We would love to have you over! Just let me know when you would like to come so I can clean, hehehe!
hope you feel better soon.
greetings from Sacandinavia,
Sarah sofia
http://anders-wohnen.blogspot.com/2009/06/marstrand-swedenschweden.html
I think we're all entitled to wallow every now and again. Then remember to treat yourself before driving on!
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