The enforced merriment of the unit party was yesterday... we lasted 1/2 hour. Truly, truly awful. I was chatting with the outgoing FRG leader, and realized - that no one wants to take it on (including me) because NO ONE GIVES A DAMN! We've been trying to get command to approve a vFRG - I offered to be the person responsible for it - but we keep getting told.. no one wants it. No one comes to FRG meetings either... We are, for some reason, getting a paid Family Readiness person... why? This unit is not the norm in the Army, so I'm told. We don't deploy as a unit, just in little groups or individually (as my DH is doing soon) There is little or no contact - one reason could be that we aren't permitted to have a phone tree. No phone list, no nothing.
So - That's that. I've realized that I'm on my own with this upcoming deployment. The Red Headed Step Children group - are back in MN and getting on with their lives, outside the Army. So this will be my support - just like the last time. You - my few and faithful readers - and the Spouse Buzz group and the BSF4O (I hope to get more involved with them). So - those of you who have done this Individual Augmentee bit - any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!
LAW
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19 comments:
While I haven't done any of the individual augmentee bit, my DH's units FRG group is also a joke, compounded by the fact that I will be 1100 miles away from them during the deployment. So you and I can be "on our own" together if that helps! :) We can do it!!
-Tucker
Tucker - that's a great idea. The Red Headed Step Children could be online... maybe our own site???
LAW
I love it! I think it is a super idea... even the name is great!! let's get on it! :)
-Tucker
As fellow one percenters, we always have friends.
We all know what it's like to spend months holding our breath.
I'll add you to my blogroll and check in often.
And thanks for your support.
I write infrequently, but read daily. And comment often. ;?)
The FRG my husband's unit provided when he was deployed last year was absurd. He was deployed with a unit that was based about 4 hours from our home. I received NO communication from them whatsoever. I had to find out from the media when and where he was coming home. When we all gathered for the homecoming, there was a standing ovation for the FRG leader and her 'dedication to excellence'. Once I figured out who she was, I went up to her and gave her a piece of my mind. I agree. They're useless exercises in futility. We don't need 'friends' assigned to us by the military--we can form our own. Let me know if you decide to get anything started, and I'll be more than happy to help.
When my husband deploys, it's the same way. He's in a deployable office at a non-deploying command. So nobody ever knows what's going on. I've had the ombudsman (our FRG leader) call me when DH wasn't even scheduled to deploy, and then he's been gone and never heard from her. It's very hit-or-miss. Just wanted to let you know that I'll be reading and supporting you however I can :)
My sweetie's about to deploy as a sort of IA, and I'm getting the feeling it's going to be much like the deployment we went through before we were married -- no official support, but lots of info from him (which was probably of better quality anyway).
So it can be done; I'm proof. That said, can I join the Red-Headed Stepchildren?
our version of the FRG, key wives, is a JOKE here, most at this squadron support the planes, not fly with them so they dont live most of the year without their spouse. So they could care less about the rest of us.
Hang in there, we are all pulling for you during this coming deployment.
oh my...I hate madatory fun, and I hate FRG's...and I hate incoming commanders' spouses who decide that they don't need to deal with the outgoing commander's wife at all.
Yup....that's me.
Mandatory Unit fun will commence on the 18th of December...9 days after the Change of Command...just to be sure the old commander and wife won't attend (we will be in the throes of packing and moving and hotel living, thank you very much.)
meh...my unit spouses give put the Bah in Bah Humbug.
Wow LAW... sounds like we could have quite the group! Shoot me an e-mail if you are even kinda serious about starting something up... I know I would be game. I think this could be a great idea! We are all in your corner and will be here to help, promise!
You know I'm with you.
OK - The RHBSC is in the process of being reborn as a site. I'm not sure HOW, but stay tuned, I'll work it out...
LAW
Hey LAW, I'll be part of your online red-headed step children group. Obi-Wan did the IA thing last year. It can be done without the physical support of an FRG - I had nothing. Actually, I had two awesome close Navy spouse friends, one whose husband deployed on an IA shortly before mine did so we had each other. But no official Navy support at all. I actually did get a phone call from Fleet and Family Support about 6 months into the IA, however, which shocked the dickens out of me, asking me how I was managing. I appreciated this woman calling me but by then, I'd been through the worst of it and was much better dealing on my own.
I just relied on my friends, both civilian and Navy, to get me through. Of course the Navy spouses understood the deployment roller coaster better than the civilians did, but I had great support from everyone around me regardless.
You can do it, and I'm around if you need to event. :)
LAW - let's talk about getting that site up and running. With the latest news (on my end) I could use another fun project!
Your friendly neighborhood TechMama! : )
Tammy
I think I'm in the minority because our FRG is pretty good. They're still in the process of really getting things moving, but I think they're doing a good job. Okay, so I'm the Communication Director, so maybe I'm a bit biased, but when we went from 5 members last year to over 30 right now, I think we're doing good.
LAW, couldn't you find another FRG in the area that is already established? My husband is not in the unit of the FRG that I'm a member of. His unit doesn't have an FRG, so I stayed in the FRG of his previous unit. It's the same Battalion, so deployment schedule and all that is the same. It's kinda nice actually because I went from being the Commander's wife to being just a normal soldier's wife and now I like that people don't think I have the "inside scoop" or something.
Hahaha, must be in the water. Our boat's FRG is a hot mess.
Personally, I really like the vFRG site. We're using it a second time during this deployment, and it just seems to be easier. People that don't want to go to the meetings can still get the information that they need. On another note, not ALL wives stick around, so the info is there for those from a distance wives as well.
PS ... you've been tagged! Check the blog for the rules :)
The Army Wife - I did it, sorta, and I have volunteered to run the vFRG - numerous times, but no one is interested, they all say things like "the wife has her own support group" those of course are the FIRST ones who beg for help when the washer goes, and get pissed when the FRG can't just buy them one (seriously!)
.. (army)wife - what I was hoping for in an FRG is a group of people with their soldier in the same area, to be able to talk to and commiserate with, and to be able to ask one of them to ask their spouse to surprise the DH on his birthday... the little things. There isn't another FRG that I know of right now - that is going through deployment. AGain, our group is an aberation, or so I'm told.
That said, the RHBSC will be online in the future, HH6/PZ Tech Mama and I will be putting it together, and everyone, no matter your military affiliation, rank, political leanings, is welcome. BUT, the OPSEC rules will apply, and if anyone gets too nasty (I don't mind some spitting and crankyness) that person will be blocked.
LAW
Bill HATES forced fun. He went to his unit party, greeted the CO, waiting until after the word from the Chaplain and bailed. I feel you on the FRG difficulties, I'm walking into our new one knowing that they've had some issues with the battalion, but I'm doing what I can! Good luck!
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