Don't Ask, Don't Tell - cont'd

X posted from LeftFace

The DADT repeal dialogue continues, on both sides of the issue. A friend to many of us, Lily Burana, who wrote a wonderful book "I love a Man in Uniform" and who is a tireless advocate for military spouses, wrote an op ed in the LA Times. Lily brings it to "our" side of the military, to the spouses, the ones who host the lunches, who run the FRGs, who try to support each other during the deployments. A blogger she quotes in the piece, who quips that acceptance will be final when the domestic partners are welcomed by a bunch of "snobby officers' wives" may not be all wrong! Lily jokes about that timeworn attitude...

But we aren't entirely what this man suggests, blinkered domestic biddies clutching our pearls and our outmoded mannerisms, possessed of no greater largesse or intellectual sophistication than what we leech from our husbands: Inclusiveness? If you say so, dear.

We don't have to ask, and we will (one hopes) not tell, but in our little world, being gay isn't exactly a secret. We all know the "confirmed bachelor" the "haven't found the right guy/girl yet" who has a room mate, or close friend, that no one is allowed to acknowledge as being so much more than that. I, for one, cannot imagine not being allowed to acknowledge a person who is so integral to my life.

Lily also said something that rang - like a very clear bell - in my mind, while discussing the opposition from those affectionately called "The Pachyderms", the senior brass we revere for their past service, but whose opinions sometimes show their disconnect from the present day Army. (emphasis added)

Yet as much as I acknowledge their right to their position, I won't refrain from voicing my opposition. My conscience — as a wife, as a patriot, as a freedom-loving American — demands it.

I understand that the repeal is a top-down decision, but until the administration and the brass figure out how best to proceed, I will do what the good Lt. Gen. Mixon suggested and what the DOD requested: I will share my opinion — that the repeal of "don't ask, don't tell" is less about what we military family members do or don't want than about what is right. And what is best, in the long run, for our nation's military.

As for me, LAW, I'll respect anyone's right to an opinion, even if I think its wrong, it's daft, it's not grounded in anything I recognize as fact; and yes, I'll be pretty dismissive of the "facts" as seen by those whom I personally feel are not really worried about facts, but have a deep seated, illogical (to me) prejudice for anyone who is not "the same". BUT I will NOT stop advocating for the repeal, I will NOT stop letting my voice be heard; because MY conscience demands it too.

LAW

Rolling Thunder 2010

The Saluting Marine - The Lincoln Memorial - the Bikes (credit - StevenFrancis Photography) -

I was standing a little to the right of this location, when I noticed a woman standing almost rigidly, wiping her cheeks periodically. When asked if she was alright, she said yes, and that it was "silly" because she lost someone so long ago in the Vietnam war, that she shouldn't still be crying. No, it was only yesterday that her chopper pilot was KIA, they had been dating for only a while, she now has a new life, but still...... She asked me about my connection to the military, when she saw the my son and my husband served patches on my vest. Then she said what we have all heard so often "I don't know how you do it" we kept talking and she thanked me for helping her understand a little better, about how military families keep going, and the service members who volunteer to serve. A hug, and a connection. And remembering why the Thunder is Rolling, remembering who we are memorializing, not just those who died, but those left behind.

LAW

Rolling Thunder - sorta

Unfortunately, Chief's vertigo came back, so neither of us will be riding! We'll go down and take pictures, and spend some time with friends.

Cat is now on hyperthyroid meds. Gave him the first one yesterday, on an empty stomach - which resulted in having to harvest some grass from the front lawn, and cleaning up the results. today, he seems to be better. Yeah, been a helluva weekend so far!

later, y'all.

LAW

Yeah - I'm still here

Well, um.... I can't believe it's been so long since I was here. I feel like I've been writing everywhere else, LeftFace and Facebook and all the rest of it. But wow, I've neglected LAW something fierce, huh? To update - I've left the fulltime job that was making me quite nuts, and now I'm working part time at a data entry type job (just enough to cover some bills) and trying to get my Virtual Assistant business up and running.

The town house has come together, found furniture we wanted but at a very unexpected place. You know the kind of store, carries furniture Chief calls "AlFaw palace" replete with gold brocade, fake stuffed tigers and screaming pink? We walked into one of those, and were about to leave until we saw the "normal" looking dining room set (Craftsman style) and bedroom dressers and side tables - good solid stuff. and cheaper than most of the other stores. unfortunately, their delivery sucks. SUCKS. waited around, they forgot a piece, but now the dining room chairs are re-covered (black naugahyde was tooo ugly) and the silver has been cleaned and looks great in the breakfront.

my little garden (mostly in pots and flower boxes) is coming along, the field salad/mesclun mix and spinach are great additions to the farmers market lettuces and vegs. The Sunday Farmer's Market has opened, the buffalo guy's meats are great, the fresh farm eggs are wonderful, and the vegs have so much flavour! If y'all have a farmers market, go, buy there! much better quality, support a local farmer.

Looking forward to this weekend, riding in Rolling Thunder (we hope). Chief will be, I don't know if my neck will allow me to wear the helmet/therefore no ride for me if I can't.

I can't promise I'll write a lot in the next few weeks. and for those faithful few who drop by here, I'm sorry.

LAw

Survey Time!! Power in Numbers.

Last year, Blue Star Families did a survey - and when they got the results they took it to Speaker Pelosi and a group of other concerned Congresspersons. And it made a difference - the fact that we as military families feel that civilians don't get what we do, that we are disconnected from the rest of the country - made an impact! The fact that there were many of us who said it, added weight. The First Lady talked about it, I've heard it at hearings and from members of Congress. Let's make sure that the findings from THIS survey are noted - are valued. How? by taking it! The more people who take this survey, the more military families that make their voices heard and their feelings and problems known - the louder our voice becomes. NOW is the time for us to let those Powers that Be know, because we are a power to be reckoned with NOW!

Here's the site for the Blue Star Families Survey

Go take it, it's private, your name will not be forwarded or published. Remember, to Congress, to those vague Powers That Be, numbers count. so take it, then pass it on. post it on your site, your FB status, tweet it. Let's make sure WE are represented, that OUR voice is the voice that speaks for military families, not some pencil pusher who never saw an ID card or PCSed, who doesn't understand that military families are proud of their servicemember and aren't asking for handouts, but that we have concerns, and want to make sure that the programs that are designed to help us, are really doing so.

Here's that link again.


LAW

Moving forward

I gave notice yesterday, I start my new job in mid May. Excited? OH YEAH. I'm so so done with the firm, I'm so done with the "make binders" (3 sets) of pleadings, print out a few thousand pages here, there, everywhere... how about reviewing it in the data base first, and then tell me what you want printed. We must go through forests at the firm. FORESTS! and sorry, the area of law - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I think I've come to realize that I'm too old for this crap. I don't want to work until 10 pm, because the attorneys can't actually write a brief until the day before it's due, and therefore I can't do the cite checks etc of a 45 page brief until THAT day - or the secretary will screw up the formatting (again) at 8 pm... so the Table of Authorities and Table of Contents needs to be run again, and again, and again... ad nauseum. But the kicker for me is - I just don't CARE about it. I don't CARE about what I'm doing! I know what I want to do, and I'm going to do my damndest to actually do it.

What do I want to do? Well....Helping military families, in a concrete way, and helping military families by making sure we aren't forgotten again, regulated to the "oh, yeah, and after we spend billions on this program, this weapons system (and we as Congress don't care if you NEED it, we have a factory in our state that will make the doohickey thingamabob) AFTER we do all that... we'll consider doing a little something for the families - let's throw them a bone, they'll shut up and go away". No, we aren't going to anymore.

Getting off the soapbox. have a lot to do today. Migraine is almost gone, so I might get something done!

Talk to you later.

LAW

The Summit

Not Everest - the Congressional Military Family Caucus Summit! A meeting of military spouses from all over the country, from Oregon and Washington State to the DC area, the Carolinas, Texas, brought together to discuss topics that are important to all of us. Marine wives sat with AirForce and Army Spouses, discussing Deployment stress with Navy wives - finding that we had more in common than differences. Every table had a Senior wife sitting at it, anonymously. May I say that I really enjoyed discussing mental health with Deborah Mullen! I recognized her, but no one else at our table did, and I think the whole point of them staying incognito was perfectly illustrated when one of the other ladies at the table realized who she was as we were going to lunch, and was hoping she hadn't said anything "wrong". NO - these ladies needed to hear what we had to say, without anyone worrying about "will this hurt my spouse's career"!

My usual problems with the Capital Security folks continued - my little spray hand sanitizer was confiscated - along with another wife's Nilla wafers. jeez louise!

The discussions - there was one overriding common thread. INFORMATION! or the lack thereof, the lack of one place to get the information we need, whether it's where to find a doctor that takes TriCare, which program is there to help children trying to cope with deployment, where the training is available for a milspouse trying to get a new job - INFORMATION.

The ideas we cam e up with, and refined, are being given to the members of the Caucus. We need to keep talking to our representatives, we need to make sure that these issues stay on their desks, stay on their radar.

I met so many wonderful spouses, so many women (I didn't meet the guys)who were ready to roll up their sleeves and get to work, who had ideas and were willing to work together to make a difference. It was an honour and pleasure to spend the day with all of them.

LAW

Milblogs -

Xposted at LeftFace Blog.

We really did enjoy ourselves! does that sound "surprised"? yeah... we were... this is my third, my husband's second, and Snarky's first. Some of the speakers were amazing, the Best By Far - SSG Hatch (later Major Hatch) who was a camera man at the battle for Tarawa (which IS pronounced TAR - a - wah... the moderator needed to be corrected... which SSG Hatch did, with great kindness). When SSG Hatch spoke of one of the bloodiest days in the war - he called it, "a little rough".. he could really teach the present day testosterone cowboys, the gunga Dan's of this era, the ones Snarky calls "dickswingers"... one hell of a lesson. To be there and listen to the man who took this film, a film I have seen for years, actually narrating it, was such a fantastic moment.

The Charitable Landscape - Vivian from BSF and the rest of the panelists were great. Michael Yon - the quality of the sound was awful, and the OPSEC violations - well, lets just say Chief isn't terribly surprised that his imbed was canceled! Lunch - not TOO liquid, lots of fun, new friends but really, when you ask for no cheese - is it really that hard??? The panel that tried to keep us awake during the post luncheon hour - did a good job. The View from the Top. A full bird Marine, eclipsed by a 4 star Admiral (no Jamie McIntyre, it's NOT General) and the Principal Deputy Assistant SecDef for Public Affairs - all talking about social media from the top. One of the bloggers there - was wearing a T shirt from IVAW and got up to ask a question. Everyone on the dais tensed - and she asked a very good question about how to get the mid range officers to understand the benefits of Social Media... chins all hit the ground! As she said to me later, we aren't all screaming nutjobs. I think everyone was waiting, nay, hoping, that she would go ballistic. she never did, and I think many people were disappointed that she didn't so they could jump down her throat. Amazingly, I found out that a panelist from a major veterans group invited her, and while he thinks she is wrong in her views was saddened by the attitudes of some at the conference. I think she's a very brave woman, a brave veteran, to come to that conference and ask her questions.

The final panel on legislation - very dense! One of the panelists who had a passing resemblance to a favourite TV childrens host of a military marsupial nature, told us he thought Facebook and Twitter were, I quote "crap" - made quite an impression, lemme tell ya! We met up with him later - after a few adult beverages at PF Changs, and with the assistance of a few more libations, we spent a fun hour or so with him at dinner. He and Vivian spoke Public Policy jargon for a while... interspersed with snarky remarks about award winners, and ending with a lesson (by another friend) and a pictorial (drawing, folks) of the mechanics of "teabagging"... yeah, you had to be there.

All in all, a good time was had by all. So - next year - y'all coming? Hope so!

LAW

Almost Milblogs!

I am really looking forward to this conference - Chief is home and will be coming, and one of my best imaginary friends, Snarky Navy Wife, is going to be arriving tomorrow! This is going to be a blast, we plan to meet up with some other bloggers and attend the milblog conference. There are some good speakers scheduled, and there is sure to be some lively discussion!

I'll try to blog from there, or twitter... I'll see!

LAW

been a while, huh?

Nana here! We had a wonderful time with our granddaughter, who is growing up so fast! She's almost terrifyingly smart, has the memory of an elephant and is a budding fashionista. I don't get to shop with her very often, but we had a great time at a children's store, and what really impressed me, was not ONE screaming fit, not one tantrum even when we said no to a toy purchase or anything else.

We went to the Denver Children's Museum again, and she had a great time, again. There's an area with a mirror and music, tap shoes, tutus and costumes - I see a drama major here ,y'all. Grandma Deb was very kind and let us stay at her house, so granddaughter stayed with us for two nights - we even made breakfast together one morning, she mixes pancake batter very neatly. The 'Quarium was fun, sharks are ok on THAT side of the glass and Nemo was a big favourite.

On our last day, we went to her school and had lunch with her, some of her little friends and her lovely teacher Miss Kayla. Great pre-school, and I'm so happy she is able to go there. The newest addition to the family, the Corgi Peanut - very happy puppy, about a year old, and the usual bundle of energy! but Cesar Milan is right - long walks do wear them out and get all that energy out in sniffing, walking, sniffing, marking, sniffing...

****

Left Face didn't make it to the Milbloggies finals... ah well. We'll do it next year!

LAW

Milbloggies

Nope, I'm not asking you to vote for this blog. I'm asking you to go and nominate LEFT FACE. It's a group effort, that I'm proud to be a part of, with a bunch of great Liberal Military Spouses.

Go nominate!

LAW

Outed...

Went to a lovely party yesterday - Corned Beef, Cabbage, some fantastic soda bread, and a great Irish Lamb Stew, and everyone brought beer - good beer, Guinness, Smithwicks, Harp.... yum..

When we got there, our hostess pulled me aside, holding a copy of Military Spouse Magazine... Is this YOU??? now, her husband used to be in our chain of command - he's been transferred to another unit/area command, so I thought for a second. But - what the hell, right? They know us, they know the cat, they know the house... so it's kinda obvious, and I trust her discretion. She twinkled at me, her husband grinned... and no more was said.

Maybe it's time for LAW to to move out of the anonymity of the blog - but not today!

LAW

Respect, can we get some

The MyCAA debacle is the tip of an iceberg that has been floating along for a long long time. The general lack of preparation and disorganization was made worse by a total disregard of the impact of an arbitrary decision made by a group of bureaucrats, and complete lack of respect for the military spouses.

Way back when I first became a military wife (wow, 32 years…) I remember the only semi joking remark from a 1st Sgt – “hey, Spc ____, if we wanted you to have a wife, we’da issued you one”.. Back then, we were supposed to spring out of a big green duffle bag, and be the sweet little helpmeet/wifey.. We were called “dependants” and treated as such, as an inconvenience that the military had to put up with. Then, a few years later, {poof} we were told we were “family members” we were supposedly going to be regarded as partners in military life. [I can hear the snickers now… and the chorus of “yeah …. Right”] We were included in ceremonies and we now hear constantly how much the senior ranks value us, the new “saying” is keep the family happy to keep the soldier happy. All very nice to hear in speeches, pronouncements and proclamations of family days and support before deployment. The reality – well, that’s something else again altogether!

We come to the latest slap in the face, delivered by the DoD - the department for Military Community and Family Policy to be precise. First – the MyCAA program was ended (oh, excuse me... "paused) – with no warning, or notice to any of the spouses that were already IN the program. How did we find out? On Facebook or from the Navy Times, dammit! So, it’s not enough to slap more than 98,000 military spouses already in the program and thousands more within the process by screwing up their schooling, to torpedo the plans that they made – nope, you all needed to make sure you made it a whole lot worse by not actually telling them what was happening. You thought we would just sit there and smile sweetly and say… oh thank you so much… oh bless your heart….

After we stood up and started organizing, started Facebook pages and calling our congress people, after Veterans’ Organizations and some of the family groups demanded answers, after phone calls, articles and TV spots, you finally gave a “statement.” Which says… nothing. You all waffled on about this is a “planned” review… that approved documents would be honored. We get this vacuous muttering:

“Military spouses represent a significant, young, diverse and motivated component of America’s labor force. We recognize that the military lifestyle calls for portable careers and that military spouses need access to education and training for careers that are portable and high-growth nationally. This short-term break will allow us to better assess the program to ensure we are achieving that goal.”

It takes weeks for some of the program recipients to actually get notified, and THIS is what they got

“Dear MyCAA Student: Please be advised that the My Career Advancement Account (MyCAA) program has suspended operations indefinitely. As you’re aware this program has provided active duty military spouses with funding to start or continue their education/ training.... Some services are still accessible, but financial support is on hold. According to the announcement, military spouses who have generated an approved FA form won't be affected*The Department of Defense is doing a top-to-bottom review of the program. To be clear, we are not sure when the program will open again. It could be as early as the Summer 2010 semester, or perhaps, stretch to the Fall 2010 semester. We are certain that some changes to program approval are likely, and in the interim students should be pursuing alternate sources of financial aid (Military One Source [MOS], FAFSA, finaid.org, Post 9-11 transfer of GI Bill benefits, etc).”

*The truth is, that many of our spouses are reporting that their payments are NOT being made to the schools, they are going to have to pay the fees out of pocket, or drop out.

The article in the AF times had this gem:

“Military spouses — who were depending on the program to help pay for classes for which they already had registered — could not be told about the shutdown ahead of time because “given the gravity of the situation, there was no time for a warning,” Pentagon spokeswoman Air Force Maj. April Cunningham said.”

In one article – we are told, it’ll be a couple of months. In another, “we aren’t sure” when. We hear it’s because of the computer system, the software, the amount of money, then it’s because there are too many people trying to get it, then it’s a “planned” outage, then it’s an emergency you can’t tell people about…. GET YOUR STORY STRAIGHT!

Have the common courtesy to tell us the truth!

Well, y’all… we are not going to put on our little white gloves, and our little pearls and go to the Wives Club meeting and forget the way you treated us. The FaceBook pages are getting more and more members, we clamoured loud enough that 60+ members of congress joined the Congressional Military Family Caucus and sent a letter of protest to the Secretary of Defense, more and more members of congress are holding hearings, getting groups together. If you had treated any other group the way you treated us, you’d be ducking for cover. Well, you might want to check that cover, we aren’t going away. You are going to learn that that level of disrespect will not be forgiven, will not be forgotten.

LAW

xposted at LeftFace

Say WHAT?

I'm told that this little blog made it into an article in Military Spouse Magazine. Since I didn't get mine yet, and I can't get on post until tomorrow - I'm just floored, flummoxed, dumbfounded, and pretty amazed! Can't wait to see it.

If you linked here from the magazine, welcome! Please read, please comment, or just say Hiya!

LAW

Terrorist or Hero - Martyr or Murderer

A person with a grudge, gripe or deep seated belief of some kind, whether justified or delusional, decides to “take action”. The person takes a vehicle, supplements fuel or adds explosives to said vehicle. The vehicle is directed, at a high rate of speed, into a building which is used by the entity against which this person has a grudge, or left sitting next to the building and remotely detonated. Innocent people are killed, wounded and traumatized. In Baghdad, or Bagram, Kandahar or Peshawar, they are called terrorists. What do we call them in Austin, Oklahoma City?

HOW does one call them hero? I can’t, for the life of me, understand that. To call Joe Stack a hero, to justify his flying that plane into the IRS building (just because he hated taxes and refused to pay them and had problems with the IRS) is unfathomable. How is he different from the terrorist in Peshawar who set off a car bomb outside a hospital emergency room as a followup to bombing a bus full of pilgrims? For one man, his religion became fanaticism, his hatred of anyone who didn’t believe exactly as he did, became a reason to murder, a justification of an act that killed, wounded and maimed innocent men, women and children. For another man, his distrust of government, his deep seated belief that taxes are unjust and he shouldn’t have to pay them, his ongoing battles with the IRS (and what most of us see as tax evasion and skipping out on his responsibilities as a citizen) became a justification for flying a plane into a building, with the clear intent to kill people.

To me – that’s just Murder. To hear someone say his actions were “inappropriate” – stunningly inadequate. And when I read that he has been called a martyr – gruesome. As gruesome as calling a truck bomber in Kabul a martyr.. these violent acts are not martyrdom. They are the selfish act of someone who doesn’t have the intelligence or the humanity to figure out that what they are doing is murder, pure and simple, murder.

XPOSTED at LEFTFACE

No words - just a picture

Well... a couple words - this was up in the Bike Shop we took the motorcycle to... unexpected place!

Presidents Day

And another day off... yes, I'm glad to be home, because the commuting is making me totally crazy. the VRE was running well on Friday (first day back at work) but the Metro - not so much. the office - um yeah, most of the secretaries didn't show up, but the rest of us struggled in.

We are buying out Ikea - book shelves, organizational stuff - Michaels for frames, Bed Bath for... well, bath and kitchen stuff... this continuing contribution to the economy is starting to be noticeable!! one more trip to Potomac Mills. Getting settled into a much larger space makes it so tempting to unpack ALL that stuff that has been in storage for so long. Now if I could just find the photo card reader to upload those pictures I took during the last storms!

have a good week, everyone.

LAW

Snowpocalypse - Snowmaggeddon - Sn**

We left Minnesota to get away from snow - we've laughed at the way DC closes down when it gets an inch of snow, and the hysteria from the media about impending storms. Well, y'all... they were right this time! Good Grief!

For the last week, it's been awful The train/VRE isn't running, Metro isn't running above ground, the roads are only partially cleared. The blame game is in full scream on mode - why aren't they able to run, able to do this/that/the other. I am thrilled to bits that we only had a very short power outage in the middle of the night once and those hard working folks at Dominion Power got us back up in a few hours.

Went to the grocery store between storms, did our usual shop, just a couple of days early, but as we were leaving, the hordes were descending and I'm sure it all became a mess and a place full of cranky people. The second storm is sleet/freezing rain/snow and then more of the same. We've been able to get out a bit, but the road in and out of the subdivision is a truly awful mess. Riding in ruts is ok until the center becomes so high it takes out the bottom of your car!

How the area will dig out of the second storm, I have no idea. We hear of snow plow trucks breaking down and the drivers are absolutely exhausted from trying to clear 2 feet of snow and put down chemicals before, during and after the first storm. Some folks haven't had power or heat in 4 days, that's a long time to be cold and dark.

We'll get through it, it won't be pretty, and Chief's back may need some massage and lots of Ranger Candy from all this shoveling, but we'll make it. Talk to you after this next storm.

LAW

and by the way - Facebook needs to get their act together, this "new" system sucks. badly.

LAW hits the Hill

Well, actually the Congressional Military Family Caucus Briefing on mental health issues.

First – don’t ever try to get into the Capital Visitor’s Center with food, water or knitting needles (even circulars) they make you throw them away. If you dislike TSA at the airport, you will detest the Capital Security police – they make the airport folks seem downright polite by comparison. Watching a cop scream at a tourist who obviously couldn’t read English (signage on door only in English) about opening the In door instead of the Out door, which set off an alarm… ridiculous. Welcome to the Nation’s Capital!

The change when I reached the room where the Caucus was held – amazing. Military supporters, and a lot of retired Brass- the kind with stars. I was frankly amazed when (not retired, and in full Blues) General Sutton came up and remembered meeting me at a function months before, she’s a great advocate for the mental health of military families. I have hope that some of the changes she is pushing for will happen and if it doesn’t, it won’t be for lack of enthusiasm on her part!

Kristy Kaufmann started the proceedings, as always telling it very much like it is! Running an FRG during deployment on cupcake sales – that really irked some very distinguished looking gentlemen I was sitting next to. They were pretty shocked when I told them that we couldn’t even sell those cupcakes to other units, just to our personnel. General, it really WAS that different when you were Active, wasn’t it! But Sir, we weren’t in two wars with a smaller military, dragging on for 8 years, back then. When Kristy showed us Peggy and Monique, and told us their stories, told us about Faye – those Army wives who just broke, who were so tired and so discouraged, that they ended it the only way they thought they could – that really hit the Congress people in the audience, and the rest of us. As the Rep from CA said, we won’t forget Peggy…

BG Sutton talked to us about the future plans for changes in how the mental health community is trying to assist both the serving military and families. I’m hoping that this is really going to happen, the availability of mental health counselors is limited! In OCONUS, we are hearing in one area that the counselor who is supposed to be handling special needs families, is also now tasked with PTSD cases and families as well!

The head of Tri-West - well he’s really got it. They are also partnering with the USO, to help those volunteers when they see someone needing an assist. When I chatted with him after the presentations, he first thanked me for my question – when I asked that they please please put counselors in place who at least spoke our language, who understood the military and how it works. All the degrees in the world don’t help when you are trying to talk to someone about how you are feeling and have to stop in the middle to translate terminology. Hearing from an AirForce spouse about the base civilian mental health worker who tells a pregnant young woman to go to the Company Command and demand that her husband come home from deployment for the birth of their child “because it’s her right and they have to do it”… oh, yeah, that really helped her, didn’t it???? I was told that there is training available, but that he was going to check that everyone is getting that! I told him that my experience with this was back in 2005-6, and he shared with me that they heard it a lot from those of us in the MN Guard who were using their services – we understood that they ramped those psychologists and counselors up in a matter of a couple of weeks when the extension happened, but he apologized so often, I almost felt bad for bringing it up!

The American Red Cross talked to us about the training they are giving their volunteers, the great Give an Hour partnership – there’s something we need to do some research on for our readers, and I promise I will. Any of you who have used this, let us know, ok?

Afterwards, a lot of talking, a lot of connecting, and questions from the TriWest reps about what do we need, ON THE GROUND. Kristy kept saying it, and I think and hope it got through, this is something that we need at the unit level. The top down approach – isn’t going to cut it!

If you haven’t joined the caucus on their Facebook page, do it. I know they are hoping for more conversations with and by US, the military families they want to assist. It’s a great way to connect, let’s help educate those who need to know what our real lives are like.

xposted on LeftFace

On The RAAAAAdio

I'm hijacking this from LawyerMama... thanks, LM! I'm gonna be on the radio today. Little nervous, but hey, I'm talking about something I care about, milspouses and trying to find jobs as a milspouse.

Join me for a blog radio program with Fem 2.0 on Wednesday, April 3rd at 1pm. For the last two weeks, Fem 2.0 has been getting into the nitty gritty of balancing work and family. This week, they're tackling an often forgotten class of women: the military spouse.

Join host Katie Stanton, Director of New Media for Blue Star Families, Stephanie Himel-Nelson, blogger Liberal Army Wife, and the President of the National Research Center for Women and Families, Diana Zuckerman for the program Work/Life and the Military: What It’s Really Like to Work and Serve.

From the Fem 2.0 website:

Military families are just like other families. Soldiers and their spouses are often are dealing with same work/life issues as everyone else, like wage gaps, caregiving, sick leave and more. But imagine dealing with these issues when you and/or your spouse are stationed overseas and serving in often dangerous situations for months or years at a time. Imagine being separated from your loved ones and still being expected to handle the day-to-day. Imagine being uprooted with little to no warning and moving to an unknown city or country, over and over again, and still having to provide for yourself and your family. Three experts who are passionate about military families and the difficulties they face will tell the whole story on what life is really like, how this kind of living affects men, women and children, and what can be done to help.

You can listen to the program Work/Life and the Military: What It’s Really Like to Work and Serve and join the chat. We'll be taking questions via Talk Shoe and Twitter at the end of the program. To participate via Twitter, simply tweet your question and end with the hastag #fem2 or #worklife. You can read more about how to participate on the program website.

Wish me luck!